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<channel>
	<title>Chemo is Not a Pony</title>
	<atom:link href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog</link>
	<description></description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 02 Apr 2009 08:12:34 +0000</pubDate>
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			<item>
		<title>I&#8217;m huge in Russia. Also, China.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/297/im-huge-in-russia-also-china/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/297/im-huge-in-russia-also-china/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 02 Apr 2009 08:12:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[life stuff]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[my life is so whimsical]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[true crime / news]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[4am]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[casey anthony]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[caylee anthony]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[go east young man]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[sarah palin]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[true crime]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[unicorns]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[walter benjamin]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=297</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[

So apparently a new slew of Casey Anthony pics have been distributed across the web (see above). It&#8217;s 3:59AM Eastern Standard Time, and I was taking a break from reading some Walter Benjamin essays (and no, I don&#8217;t pronounce his name as though I speak German because, really, my German is like my French&#8212;non-existent and [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><br />
<center><img src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/caseyanthonynewpix1sm.jpg" alt="caseyanthonynewpix1sm" title="caseyanthonynewpix1sm" width="238" height="296" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-298" /></center></p>
<p>So apparently a new slew of Casey Anthony pics have been distributed across the web (see above). It&#8217;s 3:59AM Eastern Standard Time, and I was taking a break from reading some Walter Benjamin essays (and no, I don&#8217;t pronounce his name as though I speak German because, really, my German is like my French&#8212;non-existent and insufficiently pretentious-sounding when I attempt to mimic it). Stats for this website reveal that I am apparently a huge hit in Russia (which Sarah Palin can see from her house, still), and also China. The reference to Sarah Palin came up, incidentally, because Casey&#8217;s attire in the photo above reminds me of a typical Sarah Palin for VP campaign outfit. </p>
<p>I would love to know why I&#8217;ve got the Eastern market cornered, but I suspect it just has something to do with spamming and/or hacking attempts. That or porn. Because at the end of the day it really just boils down to porn, as well all know. Open letter: Dear Russia and China, I less-than-three you. Pl0x not to be hacking me, kthnx. </p>
<p>If I had pickles I would be eating them right this second, in spite of the fact that I have already brushed my teeth for the night. But there are no pickles to be found here&#8212;dill or other.</p>
<p>In another hour, bedtime.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>New Update Regarding Fundraising&#8230;.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/292/new-update-regarding-fundraising/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/292/new-update-regarding-fundraising/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 23 Mar 2009 00:15:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Uncategorized]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=292</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[As of 00:33H EST on 03/23, we have reached $2,169.74. I am now aiming for the new goal of raising a grand total of $2,500. So: $331 more to go&#8230;
See also this post.
]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><center><B>As of 00:33H EST on 03/23, we have reached $2,169.74. I am now aiming for the new goal of raising a grand total of $2,500. So: $331 more to go&#8230;</B></center></p>
<p>See also <B><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/274/my-goal-to-help-a-homeless-young-adult-pay-for-the-cost-of-an-undergraduate-education/">this post.</a></B></font></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>My goal: to help a homeless young adult pay for the cost of an undergraduate education.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/274/my-goal-to-help-a-homeless-young-adult-pay-for-the-cost-of-an-undergraduate-education/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/274/my-goal-to-help-a-homeless-young-adult-pay-for-the-cost-of-an-undergraduate-education/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 18 Mar 2009 22:43:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[life stuff]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=274</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
I would like to help a homeless young adult pay for the cost of an undergraduate education, but I can&#8217;t do it alone:








The money will go into my Paypal account, and I will gather it into one lump sum and send it as a check to Covenant House in Newark, NJ. (I chose a young [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><br />
I would like to help a homeless young adult pay for the cost of an undergraduate education, but I can&#8217;t do it alone:</p>
<p><center><br />
<form action="https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr" method="post">
<input type="hidden" name="cmd" value="_s-xclick">
<input type="hidden" name="hosted_button_id" value="4063835">
<input type="image" src="https://www.paypal.com/en_US/i/btn/btn_donateCC_LG.gif" border="0" name="submit" alt="PayPal - The safer, easier way to pay online!">
<img alt="" border="0" src="https://www.paypal.com/en_US/i/scr/pixel.gif" width="1" height="1"><br />
</form>
<p></center></p>
<p>The money will go into my Paypal account, and I will gather it into one lump sum and send it as a check to Covenant House in Newark, NJ. (I chose a young person from NJ because this is the state I was living in when my patron found me&#8212;the same patron without whom I would never have completed my undergraduate work, let alone gone on to complete a Master&#8217;s degree and now, very nearly, a Ph.D.).</p>
<p>If you don&#8217;t trust me with the money, you can also send it directly to the following address:</p>
<p>Covenant House<br />
330 Washington Street<br />
Newark, NJ 07102</p>
<p>(If you choose this option, please clearly indicate on your check or enclosed letter that the money is intended for &#8220;The undergraduate education of a deserving youth.&#8221;)</p>
<p>You can also <B><a href="http://www.covenanthousenj.org">view the website for Covenant House here.</a></B></p>
<p>If you do donate, please indicate to me whether or not you would like the recipient of the money to know your name. If not, I will keep you anonymous. </p>
<p>The goal is to raise $2,000 total, although more than that would be fantastic.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s not even close to the cost of tuition, but it is a start. Covenant House will make sure the money goes directly to the educational institution.</p>
<p>Thank you for your help.</p>
<p><B>Other Relevant Websites:<br />
1. <a href="http://www.do1thing.org">Do1Thing.Org.</a></B></font></p>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>&#8220;Despondex&#8221; - The First Prescription &#8216;Depressant&#8217; Pill - Hahahaha.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/272/despondex-the-first-prescription-depressant-pill-hahahaha/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/272/despondex-the-first-prescription-depressant-pill-hahahaha/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 06 Mar 2009 18:45:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[a cool thing i found]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=272</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Too good not to share. My God I love The Onion&#8230;

]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><br />
Too good not to share. My God I love <B><a href="http://www.theonion.com/content/index">The Onion&#8230;</a></B></p>
<p><center><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/jd4tugPM83c&#038;hl=en&#038;fs=1&#038;rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/jd4tugPM83c&#038;hl=en&#038;fs=1&#038;rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></center></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>New Appointments at Johns Hopkins.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/267/new-appointments-at-johns-hopkins/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/267/new-appointments-at-johns-hopkins/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 06 Mar 2009 18:00:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[medical adventures]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[baltimore]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[doctors]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[dr. brodsky]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[dr. kerr]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[fataldisease [tm]]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[fataldisease[tm]]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[hicy]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[jh]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[johns hopkins]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[ms]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[multiple sclerosis]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=267</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
[Cross-posted with some slight changes in wording from my private blog; those of you who have already read it, please forgive the repeat. Thanks.]

Some of you may remember that I was considering HiCy as a possible MS treatment, but then had to cancel my trip to Baltimore (last August) due to an emergency wisdom teeth [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><br />
<B>[Cross-posted with some slight changes in wording from my private blog; those of you who have already read it, please forgive the repeat. Thanks.]</B></p>
<p><center><img src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/jh.jpg" alt="jh" title="jh" width="300" height="400" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-269" /></center></p>
<p>Some of you may remember that <B><a href="http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/hmn/W08/feature1.cfm">I was considering HiCy as a possible MS treatment</a></B>, but then had to cancel my trip to Baltimore (last August) due to an emergency wisdom teeth extraction. </p>
<p>I finally managed to get new appointment dates.</p>
<p>I see <B><a href="http://hopkinsneuro.org/ms/doc.cfm/expert/Douglas_Kerr">Dr. Kerr,</a></B> the neurologist, on July 29th, 2009 and <B><a href="http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/hematology/faculty_staff/brodsky.html">Dr. Brodsky</a></B>, the oncologist on August 4th, 2009. </p>
<p>As I&#8217;ve mentioned before in other, more informal contexts, I am in no way &#8220;committing&#8221; to this treatment. Rather, the purpose of my trip is to meet the Doctors, learn more about the procedure, risks, etc., and ask questions. Overall, I am feeling pretty positive and am looking forward to my visit in Baltimore. </p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
		<title>Ok: I know I haven&#8217;t blogged here in awhile&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/265/ok-i-know-i-havent-blogged-here-in-awhile/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/265/ok-i-know-i-havent-blogged-here-in-awhile/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Feb 2009 16:37:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[life stuff]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[friends]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[life]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[neurofibromatosis type ii]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[pete]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[school]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=265</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Much has happened. Isn&#8217;t that the story of everyone&#8217;s life though? I&#8217;ve been very busy with school. Those of you who know me in person know what the deal is, but I&#8217;m reluctant to go into too much detail about my education here, on this blog, simply because it is public and I&#8217;d like to [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia">Much has happened. Isn&#8217;t that the story of everyone&#8217;s life though? I&#8217;ve been very busy with school. Those of you who know me in person know what the deal is, but I&#8217;m reluctant to go into too much detail about my education here, on this blog, simply because it is public and I&#8217;d like to continue to remain at least somewhat anonymous&#8212;for personal reasons. </p>
<p>Suffice to say that good things are happening with school and I&#8217;m poised to achieve some major educational milestones in the very near future. </p>
<p>In other news: in late December, a dear friend of mine passed away. His name was Pete. He had <B><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurofibromatosis_type_II">Neurofibromatosis Type II</a></B>. He was 33 years old. Pete was an amazing person; one of the coolest things that he did to help others was build <B><a href="http://nf2crew.org/">this website</a></B>. I think of him at random moments and honestly cannot believe that he is gone. Our connection was brief but intense and (I hope) as meaningful for him as it was and continues to be for me. </p>
<p>There is a lot more that I could write, but for now, just this. </p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>&#8220;David After Dentist&#8221; and &#8220;David After Dentist, the REMIX.&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/262/david-after-dentist-and-david-after-dentist-the-remix/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/262/david-after-dentist-and-david-after-dentist-the-remix/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 07 Feb 2009 17:28:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[a cool thing i found]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[david after dentist]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[mp3s]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[videos]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[youtube]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=262</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[

The original, for those who never saw it:

&#8220;David After Dentist, the REMIX&#8221; audio downloadable in .MP3 format here. [Right-click 'save-as' to download a copy to your computer.]
]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><center><br />
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/N618fLxQP6w&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/N618fLxQP6w&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></p>
<p>The original, for those who never saw it:</p>
<p><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/txqiwrbYGrs&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/txqiwrbYGrs&amp;hl=en&amp;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></center></p>
<p><B>&#8220;David After Dentist, the REMIX&#8221; audio <a href='http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/davidafterdentistremix.mp3'>downloadable in .MP3 format here.</a> [Right-click 'save-as' to download a copy to your computer.]</B></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Immunosuppression as Unicorns (or: This Post is Not About Caylee Anthony).</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/258/immunosuppression-as-unicorns-or-this-post-is-not-about-caylee-anthony/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/258/immunosuppression-as-unicorns-or-this-post-is-not-about-caylee-anthony/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 30 Jan 2009 19:30:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[medical adventures]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[my life is so whimsical]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[thoughts on ms / chronic illness]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[audio]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[chinese hamsters]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[fataldisease [tm]]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[fataldisease[tm]]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[immunosuppression]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[iv solumedrol]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[rebif]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[solumedrol]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[unicorns]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=258</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
For now I offer up this little gem of audio to you: Immunosuppression as a field of unicorns&#8230;. 
[It's in .MP3 format, so click to listen or download and save]. 
I&#8217;ve been doing 6 months of &#8220;pulse steroids&#8221; in addition to continuing on Rebif. Let me just say that some truly whimsical, magical, and fun [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><br />
For now I offer up this little gem of audio to you: <B><a href='http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/immunosuppressionasunicorn.mp3'>Immunosuppression as a field of unicorns&#8230;</a></B>. </p>
<p>[It's in .MP3 format, so click to listen or download and save]. </p>
<p>I&#8217;ve been doing 6 months of &#8220;pulse steroids&#8221; in addition to continuing on Rebif. Let me just say that some truly whimsical, magical, and fun things happen to the body when you suppress the immune system. </p>
<p>More later (and my apologies to those of you who have already heard this audio via the &#8220;other blog&#8221; where we all hang out). </p>
]]></content:encoded>
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<enclosure url="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/immunosuppressionasunicorn.mp3" length="811019" type="audio/mpeg" />
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		<title>Remains Positively Identified: Caylee Anthony is Dead.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/255/remains-positively-identified-caylee-anthony-is-dead/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/255/remains-positively-identified-caylee-anthony-is-dead/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 19 Dec 2008 19:17:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[true crime / news]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[casey anthony]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[caylee anthony]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[news]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[true crime]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=255</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Big surprise. And although Jose Baez &#038; Co. will surely try to pin this on the meter reader who led police to the remains, and/or to the &#8220;mystery&#8221; (= nonexistent) &#8220;nanny&#8221; Zenaida Fernandez-Gonzalez, it seems pretty obvious to me (as it has since the very beginning) that Casey Anthony is responsible for the death of [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><br />
Big surprise. And although Jose Baez &#038; Co. will surely try to pin this on the meter reader who led police to the remains, and/or to the &#8220;mystery&#8221; (= nonexistent) &#8220;nanny&#8221; Zenaida Fernandez-Gonzalez, it seems pretty obvious to me (as it has since the very beginning) that Casey Anthony is responsible for the death of her toddler daughter. Particularly gruesome, in my opinion, was that the skull of the child found in the woods still had duct tape over its mouth. Duct tape. As in, Caylee&#8217;s mouth was taped shut. This might indicate that she was still alive when she was placed into a plastic trash bag (and left there to suffocate?). Ugh. I cannot believe that prosecutors decided <I>not</I> to seek the death penalty against Casey. </p>
<p>Here is the full story, via the Orlando Sentinel: </p>
<p><B>It&#8217;s Caylee Anthony. Remains identified as missing toddler of Casey Anthony</B><br />
Walter Pacheco, Sarah Lundy and Amy L. Edwards<br />
Sentinel Staff Writer<br />
2:14 PM EST, December 19, 2008</p>
<blockquote><p>It&#8217;s Caylee Marie. The five-month mystery ended today when authorities confirmed that skeletal remains discovered in woods last week belong to the missing two-year-old girl.</p>
<p>Sheriff&#8217;s officials delivered the news at a 2 p.m. press conference in Orlando. Word came after the FBI forensic lab in Virginia matched Caylee&#8217;s DNA with bones found a quarter-mile from her grandparents&#8217; home.</p>
<p>Medical Examiner Dr. Jan Gervais said, &#8220;With regret, I am here to inform you that the skeletal remains found on Dec. 11 are those of the missing toddler Caylee Anthony.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;There was no trauma to the bones prior to death.</p>
<p>&#8220;The manner of death in this case is homicide. The cause of death will be listed as homicide by undetermined means.</p>
<p>&#8220;While I would love to explain the forensic aspects of this case to you&#8230; we must remember that everyone is innocent until proven guilty.</p>
<p>&#8220;I will not discuss specifics of the findings in this case at this time.</p>
<p>Caylee&#8217;s mother, Casey Anthony, was notified in jail, where she is awaiting trial on a murder charge stemming from the child&#8217;s disappearance this summer. Her reaction to the announcement was not known. Orange County Jail spokesman Allen Moore said a psychologist would be available for Anthony if needed.</p>
<p>The toddler&#8217;s grandparents &#8212; George and Cindy Anthony &#8212; learned the news at their home on Hopespring Drive. Their attorney, Brad Conway, said earlier Friday that the couple had remained hopeful that the remains were not Caylee&#8217;s, but were realistic about the alternative.</p>
<p>On Thursday, sheriff&#8217;s officials reported that the Orange County utilities worker who found the remains last week off Suburban Drive had alerted law enforcement three times in August about a suspicious grey bag on the side on the road.</p>
<p>Three times deputy sheriff&#8217;s checked the tips, with no results. This discovery raised questions of whether Caylee&#8217;s remains could have been found much sooner.</p>
<p>The Sheriff&#8217;s Office is investigating how the calls were handled. The utilities worker &#8212; who will have a news conference later today &#8212; is not a suspect, a sheriff&#8217;s spokesman said.</p>
<p>Anthony, 22, was indicted in October on various charges, including first-degree murder. She was first jailed in July, shortly after her daughter&#8217;s disappearance was reported. Caylee was last seen alive in June.</p>
<p>Casey Anthony and her family have long insisted that Caylee Marie was alive, kidnapped by a baby sitter. Detectives have been unable to find the sitter and maintian she does not exist.</p>
<p>In late July, Casey Anthony told her brother, Lee, that &#8220;in my gut, she&#8217;s still OK,&#8221; during a conversation recorded by the jail.</p>
<p>&#8220;It still feels like she&#8217;s, she&#8217;s close to home,&#8221; Anthony said. &#8220;That&#8217;s still my best feeling at the moment.&#8221;</p>
<p>The state attorney&#8217;s office said last month it would not seek the death penalty for the mother, but prosecutors could reconsider based on new evidence. Hundreds of volunteers spent weeks searching for Caylee in the Orlando area, and law enforcement agencies across the nation have run down tips about possible sightings in their communities.</p>
<p>For the past nine days, federal and local crime scene investigators have been scouring the wooded acre where the remains were found, recovering bones and other evidence.</p>
<p>The property was under water in mid-August after Tropical Storm Fay – about the time when searches were being conducted.</p>
<p>Several hours after the first remains were found, Orange County detectives went back to the Anthony family home and searched for evidence that could link the home and the crime scene. Detectives removed a several items in large paper bags, as well as two vacuum cleaners and pesticide tanks.</p>
<p>Check back for more updates.&#8221;</p>
<p>Copyright © 2008, Orlando Sentinel</p></blockquote>
<p><B>Source article <a href="http://www.orlandosentinel.com/orl-bk-caylee-anthony-remains-identified-121908,0,423309.story">here.</a></B></p>
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		<title>Like I&#8217;ve Been Saying All Along: Casey Anthony Killed Her Kid.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/251/like-ive-been-saying-all-along-casey-anthony-killed-her-kid/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/251/like-ive-been-saying-all-along-casey-anthony-killed-her-kid/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 13 Dec 2008 07:16:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[true crime / news]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[casey anthony]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[caylee anthony]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[news]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[true crime]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=251</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[

Police &#8216;Somewhat Confident&#8217; Child&#8217;s Remains Are Caylee Anthony;
Evidence Discovered With Child&#8217;s Skull &#8216;Linked&#8217; to Anthony Home, Prompting Police Search of House
By LEE FERRAN
Dec. 12, 2008 —
Police are &#8220;somewhat confident&#8221; that a child&#8217;s remains found Thursday near the home of Caylee Anthony&#8217;s grandparents belong to the missing toddler, Carlos Padilla of the Orange County Sheriff&#8217;s Office [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><br />
<center><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/casey_anthony_puking.jpg"><img src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/casey_anthony_puking.jpg" alt="" title="casey_anthony_puking" width="260" height="195" class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-253" /></a></center></p>
<p><B>Police &#8216;Somewhat Confident&#8217; Child&#8217;s Remains Are Caylee Anthony;<br />
Evidence Discovered With Child&#8217;s Skull &#8216;Linked&#8217; to Anthony Home, Prompting Police Search of House<br />
By LEE FERRAN</B></p>
<p>Dec. 12, 2008 —</p>
<p>Police are &#8220;somewhat confident&#8221; that a child&#8217;s remains found Thursday near the home of Caylee Anthony&#8217;s grandparents belong to the missing toddler, Carlos Padilla of the Orange County Sheriff&#8217;s Office told ABC News today.</p>
<p>The remains of a young child, including a skull, were discovered in a nearby wooded area less than half a mile from the Anthony home in Orlando, Fla., prompting authorities to execute a search warrant on the home.</p>
<p>While police have been tight-lipped about what was found with the skull, Orange County Sheriff Kevin Beary told The Associated Press that &#8220;some clues that came out of the remains &#8230; linked it to the [Anthony] house.&#8221;</p>
<p>Padilla told ABC News, &#8220;It had to be pretty good to be able to get a search warrant. There was enough probable cause.&#8221;</p>
<p>A Florida judge denied a request by Jose Baez, attorney for Caylee&#8217;s mother Casey Anthony who is currently being held on murder charges, to inspect the child&#8217;s remains.</p>
<p>Police were seen this morning taking boxes and bags of evidence from the home.</p>
<p>&#8220;A lot of items were taken into our custody for review,&#8221; Beary told &#8220;Good Morning America&#8221; today. </p>
<p><B>Source URL is <a href="http://www.abcnews.go.com/TheLaw/story?id=6441931&#038;page=1">here.</a></p>
<p>See also <a href="http://news.google.com/news?hl=en&#038;tab=wn&#038;ned=us&#038;q=%22Caylee+Anthony%22+&#038;btnG=Search+News">these links.</a></B></p>
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		<title>George Anthony Finally Does the Right Thing.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/235/george-anthony-finally-does-the-right-thing/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/235/george-anthony-finally-does-the-right-thing/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 14 Oct 2008 18:08:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[true crime / news]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[casey anthony]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[caylee anthony]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[grand jury hearing]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=235</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
UPDATE, 16:50 EST: Casey Anthony has been indicted for capital murder.  Other sources say that Casey has until 17:30H EST&#8212;around a half hour from now&#8212;to turn herself in.


George Anthony, Casey&#8217;s father and Caylee&#8217;s grandfather, testified against his own daughter before a Grand Jury this morning. Updates as they happen&#8230;no one is sure whether the [...]]]></description>
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<blockquote><p><B><font color=red>UPDATE, 16:50 EST:</font> Casey Anthony <a href="http://www.myfoxorlando.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail?contentId=7643687&#038;version=3&#038;locale=EN-US&#038;layoutCode=TSTY&#038;pageId=1.1.1">has been indicted for capital murder. </a> Other sources say that Casey has until 17:30H EST&#8212;around a half hour from now&#8212;to turn herself in.</p></blockquote>
<p></B></p>
<p><center><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/casey_anthony_flag_cropped1.jpg"><img src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/casey_anthony_flag_cropped1.jpg" alt="" title="casey_anthony_flag_cropped1" width="304" height="540" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-238" /></a></center></p>
<p>George Anthony, Casey&#8217;s father and Caylee&#8217;s grandfather, <B><a href="http://edition.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/10/14/caylee.grand.jury/?iref=mpstoryview">testified against his own daughter before a Grand Jury this morning.</a></B> Updates as they happen&#8230;no one is sure whether the Grand Jury will return an indictment (for murder? manslaughter?) today or not&#8230;</p>
<p><B><font color=red>UPDATE: Casey Anthony and her attorney, José Baez, held a press conference, which can be viewed <a href="http://www.local6.com/video/17712998/">here, on Local6&#8217;s website.</a></font> Warning: vomit-inducing, as Baez tries to paint Casey as the &#8220;victim&#8221; while she stands by with a faux misty-eyed look on her face. Yes. Party while your kid is &#8220;missing,&#8221; but get all weepy when you realize you&#8217;re probably about to be charged with murder 1.</B></p>
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		<title>Casey Anthony Referred to Caylee as &#8220;Little Snot Head,&#8221; Visited &#8220;Missing Child&#8221; Websites 3 Months Before the Child Disappeared.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/223/casey-anthony-visited-missing-child-websites-3-months-before-caylee-disappeared/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/223/casey-anthony-visited-missing-child-websites-3-months-before-caylee-disappeared/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 26 Sep 2008 17:22:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[true crime / news]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[casey anthony]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[caylee anthony]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=223</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[

Here are downloads of (or links to) documents, video, and audio released in the case since yesterday:
1. Interview with Casey&#8217;s ex, Anthony Rusciano (.PDF).
2. Interview with tow-truck driver, surname Burch. He describes opening the trunk of Casey Anthony&#8217;s care for the first time: &#8220;&#8230;and a real bad smell like oh, my God. And in the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><br />
<center><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/fusian18.jpg"><img src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/fusian18.jpg" alt="" title="fusian18" width="264" height="410" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-230" /></a></center></p>
<p>Here are downloads of (or links to) documents, video, and audio released in the case since yesterday:</p>
<p><B>1. <a href='http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/rusciano.pdf'>Interview with Casey&#8217;s ex, Anthony Rusciano (.PDF).</a></p>
<p>2. <a href='http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/burch.pdf'>Interview with tow-truck driver, surname Burch.</a> He describes opening the trunk of Casey Anthony&#8217;s care for the first time: &#8220;&#8230;and a real bad smell like oh, my God. And in the back of my head I&#8217;m going that isn&#8217;t rotten garbage. You know I know what rotten garbage smells like. That doesn&#8217;t smell like rotten garbage to me.&#8221;</p>
<p>3. <a href='http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/towtruck_driver.pdf'>Statement from a second employee of the tow-truck company.</a></p>
<p>4. <a href='http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/stutz.pdf'>Statement from another of Casey&#8217;s ex&#8217;s, Christopher Stutz.</a></p>
<p>5. <a href='http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/letter_casey.pdf'>Handwritten letter from Casey.</a></p>
<p>6. <a href='http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/17564976.pdf'>Forensics report on Casey&#8217;s computer. Reveals she visited &#8220;missing child&#8221; websites months before Caylee ever disappeared.</a></p>
<p>Links:</p>
<p>1. <a href="http://www.wftv.com/video/17557603/">Audio of interview with Lee Anthony on July 29th.</a></p>
<p>2. <a href="http://www.wftv.com/video/17557465/">Audio of interview with Jesse Grund on July 23rd.</a></p>
<p>3. <a href="http://www.wftv.com/video/17556845/">Audio of interview with Jesse Grund on July 31st.</a></p>
<p>4. <a href="http://www.wftv.com/video/17558127/">Audio of interview with Tony Lazarro on July 22nd.</a> </p>
<p>5. <a href="http://www.wftv.com/video/17563296/">Link to Video Interview with Casey&#8217;s childhood friend on the Nancy Grace show.</a></B></p>
<p>A 2-hour video of Cindy Anthony&#8217;s interview with police is expected to be released shortly. Once it is, I will either post it or post a link to it here.</p>
<p>WFTV also has some great coverage, story-wise, in <B><a href="http://www.wftv.com/news/17564624/detail.html">this article:</a></B></p>
<blockquote><p>During an online conversation between Casey and one of her lovers, she talks about Zani the nanny. She talks about how Zani wasn&#8217;t around to keep Caylee. The information sheds light on how little time Casey wanted to spend with her own daughter. The more than 600 pages include phone records, text messages, interview transcriptions, hand-written letters and instant messages. Casey Anthony&#8217;s instant messages with a lover reveal an ongoing sexual relationship in May. Anthony Rusciano is the man she was having the affair with. He was the sheriff&#8217;s deputy later fired for lying about the affair. Casey often talked about the sex. &#8220;Sex is good with us, really good. And I know it&#8217;s not the only reason you want to see me,&#8221; she told Rusciano during the online exchange in early May. &#8220;Good, I hope so, but Jesus, three-week droughts blow, so, again, bring your little fine ass over here,&#8221; he wrote back. It seems like Casey&#8217;s daughter Caylee was the problem in the relationship. &#8220;Ha, want me to bring the little snot head?&#8221; Casey asked Rusciano. &#8220;Didn&#8217;t think so,&#8221; she told him. During the conversation, Casey often refereed to Caylee as &#8220;passed out.&#8221; But what does passed out really mean? Eyewitness News has reported that chloroform was found in the trunk of Casey&#8217;s car. Casey makes it clear her own daughter tires her out. &#8220;Seriously, spending the day with Caylee is 10 times more exhausting than working a 12-hour event,&#8221; she said.</p></blockquote>
<p><B><font color=red>Update, 15:33H EST: Here are the links to the video of Cindy&#8217;s interview with police:</font></p>
<p>1. <a href="http://www.wftv.com/video/17565512/">Video, Part 1.</a><br />
2. <a href="http://www.wftv.com/video/17566546/">Video, Part 2.</a></B></p>
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		<title>Casey Anthony is Getting Sued.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/218/casey-anthony-is-getting-sued/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/218/casey-anthony-is-getting-sued/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 25 Sep 2008 19:15:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[true crime / news]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[casey anthony]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[caylee anthony]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=218</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[

Surprise, surprise! Apparently you can&#8217;t randomly accuse total strangers of having kidnapped your child without expecting to face some fairly serious civil as well as criminal charges. 
WFTV snagged an exclusive interview with Zenaida Fernandez-Gonzalez&#8217;s brand-spanking-new attorney, John Morgan, who is gleefully preparing at least one lawsuit against Casey Anthony herself, and possibly (as he [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><br />
<center><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/fusian2.jpg"><img src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/fusian2.jpg" alt="" title="fusian2" width="446" height="311" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-219" /></a></center></p>
<p>Surprise, surprise! Apparently you can&#8217;t randomly accuse total strangers of having kidnapped your child without expecting to face some fairly serious civil as well as criminal charges. </p>
<p>WFTV snagged an exclusive interview with Zenaida Fernandez-Gonzalez&#8217;s brand-spanking-new attorney, John Morgan, who is gleefully preparing at least one lawsuit against Casey Anthony herself, and possibly (as he hints at in the interview) additional lawsuits against other parties who may have &#8220;repeated&#8221; defamatory statements about Fernandez-Gonzalez. </p>
<p>You can watch the interview <B><a href="http://www.wftv.com/video/17549823/">here.</a></B> (I&#8217;d embed the it, but unfortunately WFTV&#8217;s format doesn&#8217;t allow for that.)</p>
<p>Also, soon I will be creating a new category entitled &#8220;Casey / Caylee Anthony&#8221; and re-categorizing all applicable posts under it for quicker, easier access. </p>
<p>In the meantime, here are links to all posts to date on this case:</p>
<p><B>1. <a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/194/the-dead-body-smell-went-over-the-anthonys-garage-like-a-wave-said-lee-anthony/">Posted on 09/23, with links to the full .PDF download of the latest 600-page document release.</a></p>
<p>2. <a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/185/george-and-cindy-anthony-enjoy-framing-innocent-people/">Posted on 09/21, detailing the Anthony family&#8217;s implied attempt to frame Casey&#8217;s ex-fiancé, Jesse Grund, for the murder of Caylee.</a></p>
<p>3. <a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/165/casey-anthony-has-cell-phone-records/">Posted on 09/20, regarding Casey Anthony&#8217;s cell phone records and how they debunk virtually all of her statements to police.</a></p>
<p>4. <a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/146/casey-anthony-likes-to-lie-to-investigators/">Posted on 09/12 and containing links to the audio files of Casey&#8217;s police interviews.</a></p>
<p>5. <a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/70/leonard-padilla-is-an-idiot/">Posted on 08/27, and containing multiple links to documents, .PDF downloads, photographs, and other information relevant to this case, plus commentary on Leonard Padilla&#8217;s idiocy in bailing Casey out the first time around.</a></B></p>
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		<title>The dead body smell &#8220;went over [the Anthony's] garage like a wave,&#8221; said Lee Anthony.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/194/the-dead-body-smell-went-over-the-anthonys-garage-like-a-wave-said-lee-anthony/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/194/the-dead-body-smell-went-over-the-anthonys-garage-like-a-wave-said-lee-anthony/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 23 Sep 2008 18:53:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[true crime / news]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[casey anthony]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[caylee anthony]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[lee anthony]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[wftv]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=194</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[

[Photo credit - AP, taken by Red Huber.]
Breaking news from Florida&#8217;s WFTV Channel 9, which announces that the state has released even more new documents&#8211;over 600 pages of them&#8211;pertaining to the Casey / Caylee Anthony case. 
Among some of the juicier (and definitely incriminating) revelations:
*Lee Anthony said Casey&#8217;s mother was immediately worried about Caylee&#8217;s wellbeing [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br />
<center><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/casey_smirk_ap_sm.jpg"><img src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/casey_smirk_ap_sm.jpg" alt="" title="casey_smirk_ap_sm" width="402" height="302" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-197" /></a><br />
[Photo credit - AP, taken by Red Huber.]</center></p>
<p>Breaking news from Florida&#8217;s WFTV Channel 9, which announces that <strong><a href="http://www.wftv.com/news/17538105/detail.html">the state has released even more new documents</a></strong>&#8211;over 600 pages of them&#8211;pertaining to the Casey / Caylee Anthony case. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Georgia;">Among some of the juicier (and definitely incriminating) revelations:</span></p>
<blockquote><li>*Lee Anthony said Casey&#8217;s mother was immediately worried about Caylee&#8217;s wellbeing because of the smell from the car Casey had abandoned that &#8220;went over [their] garage like a wave.&#8221;</li>
<li>*Lee also said Casey said her mom constantly reminded her of what an unfit mother she is.</li>
<li>*Lee told investigators that his mother, Cindy, had said that Caylee was the best thing that happened and actually the worst thing was that Caylee was actually Casey&#8217;s mistake.</li>
<li>*Investigators interviewed Casey&#8217;s boyfriend, Tony Lazarro, who said sometime after July 5, at least a couple weeks after Caylee disappeared, Casey would wake up sweating and tell him she was having nightmares, but she told him the nightmares were about their relationship.</li>
</blockquote>
<p><span style="font-family: Georgia;">Nightmares.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Georgia;">Casey killed that child&#8212;make no mistake. At the very least, she was negligent, the child died in an accident, and then she disposed of the corpse and attempted to cover up what had happened. </span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Georgia;">Video of this breaking report can be seen <strong><a href="http://www.wftv.com/video/17538584/">here.</a></strong></span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Georgia;">No doubt WFTV and some of the other media outlets will release the documents in their entirety in .PDF format, as they have done before. As soon as this happens, I will get downloads up here. </span></p>
<p><B><font color=red>UPDATES and SOME DOCUMENTS: 18:21H EST:</font> </p>
<p>1. MyFox Orlando <a href="http://www.myfoxorlando.com/myfox/pages/News/Detail?contentId=7494099&#038;version=9&#038;locale=EN-US&#038;layoutCode=TSTY&#038;pageId=3.2.1">has some of the interviews (with Casey&#8217;s friends, etc.) from the second, 600-page document release up.</a></p>
<p>2. <a href="http://www.local6.com/news/17541114/detail.html">Local6 has printed some bombshells</a>. Here are the highlights:</B></p>
<blockquote><p>Nearly three weeks before deputies arrested the mother of missing Caylee Anthony, the 22-year-old admitted to a friend that her car smelled like death, according to new information in nearly 600 pages of released documents concerning the case. The documents, which included interviews and phone records, showed Casey Anthony was aware of a foul smell in her car. In a phone call to Amy Huizenga, Casey Anthony told her friend, &#8220;It smells like something died in my car.&#8221; Casey Anthony claimed her father, George, had possibly run over a squirrel when he borrowed her car that week. However, the date would have been during a period when the Anthonys said they could not find Casey Anthony. Also, on June 27, documents show that Casey Anthony sent a cell phone text message to her friend (Amy Huizenga) that reads, &#8220;There was definitely part of a dead animal plastered to the frame of my car.&#8221; According to Huizenga, June 27 is the date when Casey Anthony admitted leaving her car at an Amscot, claiming it had run out of gas. The car was later towed to an impound lot, where George and Cindy picked it up two weeks later. Cindy Anthony initially told a 911 operator, &#8220;There&#8217;s something wrong. I found my daughter&#8217;s car today and it smells like there&#8217;s been a dead body in the damn car.&#8221; Cindy Anthony later claimed the smell was rotting pizza. But according to Huizenga, from the very beginning, Cindy Anthony apparently suspected foul play, Local 6 reported. As Amy Huizenga and Cindy Anthony were driving around town looking for Casey, Cindy Anthony wondered if the foul odor was connected to her daughter and granddaughter.</p></blockquote>
<blockquote><p>The documents also included information about Lee Anthony voluntarily sitting down with detectives and remembering vivid details about the night he discovered his niece was missing. He told detectives that his mother and sister have had an ongoing feud that started before Caylee went missing. On the night of July 15, Cindy Anthony finally tracked down Casey and retrieved her white Pontiac from an impound lot. When Lee Anthony made it to the family home, he said the smell from the car was overwhelming. Lee Anthony told detectives, &#8220;The trunk was open. The windows were rolled down to what I assume &#8212; (to) ventilate the horrible smell that I had just smelled for the first time.&#8221; The investigator said, &#8220;The smell filled up the whole garage?&#8221; &#8220;Yeah,&#8221; Anthony said. &#8220;It hit you like a wave. I mean it was, it was whatever it was, it was very, very potent.&#8221; According to the interview that Lee Anthony gave detectives, Cindy Anthony grew tired of questioning her daughter about Caylee&#8217;s whereabouts and getting no answers. She eventually sent Lee Anthony to try to make some ground with Casey. While Lee Anthony was alone with his sister, he said, &#8220;What&#8217;s going on (and) what is the deal?&#8221; &#8216;That&#8217;s when she said mom has thrown it in my face many times before that I&#8217;m an unfit mother and you know, maybe she&#8217;s right and maybe I am.&#8221;</p></blockquote>
<p>There you have it. Every single member of the Anthony family, including Casey herself, has known for <I>weeks</I> that the smell emanating from Casey&#8217;s abandoned car was the smell of a rotting corpse. And no matter how much they try to shield themselves now in denial, they all know, deep down inside, that the rotting body in the car belonged to little Caylee. </p>
<p>More updates and docs as they become available&#8230;</p>
<p><B><font color=red>Relevant Documents from the New, 600-Page Release:</font></p>
<p><a href='http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/lee.pdf'>1. The interview with Lee, where he talks about the smell in the garage (.PDF format).</a></p>
<p><a href='http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/tony.pdf'>2. The interview with Tony Lazarro, Casey&#8217;s latest boyfriend.</a></B></p>
<p><B><font color=red>Updated at 21:24H EST:</font>: The following .PDF, which I obtained from another website, contains 319 pages of the aforementioned nearly 600 new pages released by investigators. Download it <a href='http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/documents01.pdf'>[by clicking here],</a> and try to ignore the obnoxious logos that the original poster pasted into the margins of various pages.</B></p>
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		<title>Typical Monday.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/187/typical-monday/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/187/typical-monday/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 22 Sep 2008 16:37:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[thoughts on ms / chronic illness]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[injections]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[medications]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[rebif]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=187</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><center><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/typical_monday_sm.jpg"><img src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/typical_monday_sm.jpg" alt="" title="typical_monday_sm" width="380" height="506" class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-192" /></a></center></p>
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		<title>George and Cindy Anthony Enjoy Framing Innocent People.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/185/george-and-cindy-anthony-enjoy-framing-innocent-people/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/185/george-and-cindy-anthony-enjoy-framing-innocent-people/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 22 Sep 2008 03:57:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[true crime / news]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[casey anthony]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[caylee anthony]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[dead babies]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[george and cindy anthony]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[geraldo]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[news]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[true crime]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=185</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
In this case, Casey Anthony&#8217;s ex-fiancée, Jesse Grund..for the murder of Caylee. Wait&#8230;what&#8217;s that? Murder of Caylee, you say? As in, the Anthonys appear to be admitting that the child is dead? Gee&#8230;I could&#8217;ve sworn that just last week they were vehemently insisting that the baby was &#8220;still alive&#8221; and had been &#8220;kidnapped&#8221; by the [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><br />
In this case, Casey Anthony&#8217;s ex-fiancée, Jesse Grund..for the murder of Caylee. Wait&#8230;what&#8217;s that? <I>Murder</I> of Caylee, you say? As in, the Anthonys appear to be admitting that the child is <I>dead</I>? Gee&#8230;I could&#8217;ve sworn that just last week they were vehemently insisting that the baby was &#8220;still alive&#8221; and had been &#8220;kidnapped&#8221; by the non-existent Hispanic nanny, &#8220;Zenaida.&#8221; </p>
<p>Apparently Caylee is &#8220;alive&#8221; for the Anthony family when it conveniently fits their lies about the alleged kidnapping, yet mysteriously &#8220;dead&#8221; when they start to realize that it&#8217;s probably easier to pin a murder on an unwitting <S>victim</S> ex of Casey&#8217;s than to keep spinning the &#8220;ZOMG BABYSITTER TOOK HER!!111&#8243; bullshit. </p>
<p>Here is Jesse on Geraldo:<br />
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/CS55WkNra7M&#038;hl=en&#038;fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/CS55WkNra7M&#038;hl=en&#038;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></p>
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		<title>Sick-to-well dictionary.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/180/sick-to-well-dictionary/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/180/sick-to-well-dictionary/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 21 Sep 2008 16:11:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[thoughts on ms / chronic illness]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[arthur w. frank]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[fataldisease[tm]]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[illness narratives]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[ms]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[multiple sclerosis]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[vocabulary]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=180</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
The voices of the ill are easy to ignore, because these voices are often faltering in tone and mixed in message, particularly in their spoken form before some editor has rendered them fit for reading by the healthy (Frank 25, italics mine).
Perhaps my greatest triumph in life, were I actually to undertake such a project, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"></p>
<blockquote><p>The voices of the ill are easy to ignore, because these voices are often faltering in tone and mixed in message, particularly in their spoken form <I>before some editor has rendered them fit for reading by the healthy</I> (Frank 25, italics mine).</p></blockquote>
<p>Perhaps my greatest triumph in life, were I actually to undertake such a project, would be the writing of a &#8220;sick-to-well&#8221; / &#8220;well-to-sick&#8221; dictionary. Most terminally or chronically ill people realize, on some level, that their experiences need &#8220;translating&#8221; in order to be comprehensible by the well. I would go further than this, though. I would say that the experience and articulation of illness by the ill needs to be &#8220;translated&#8221; if the well are even to <I>acknowledge</I> its existence. Conventional translators aim, perhaps, at an &#8220;accurate, loyal&#8221; translation of texts from their native language to a given target language. The object is to encounter some sort of equivalent in the target language for what is communicated in the original&#8212;to make the author&#8217;s &#8220;message&#8221; accessible to a wider range of people. </p>
<p>Sick-to-well translation, in contrast, involves a deliberate obscuring of meaning. The goal is never to render the experience of the ill truly intelligible to the well, but rather to sanitize that experience, to reconfigure it into more socially acceptable terms&#8211;ones that deny the very existence of illness itself. My thesis is that only <I>certain kinds</I> of illness narratives are socially acceptable, and, moreover, that all illness narratives that end up being formally published and widely circulated (think: Oprah Winfrey) are actually written for the benefit of the <I>well</I> rather than for that of the ill. As Frank states: &#8220;Published stories also have a particular influence: they affect how others tell their stories, creating a social rhetoric of illness&#8221; (21). I will elaborate upon this topic in future posts. </p>
<p>For now, let us note that the sick person engages, on a daily basis, in the activity of &#8220;sick-to-well translation.&#8221; Here are a few examples. The statements [in brackets] represent the &#8220;sick&#8221; message, and the responses in quotation marks (following the arrows) represent the &#8220;sick-to-well translation&#8221; of a given bracketed statement:</p>
<p>1. &#8220;How are you doing?&#8221;<br />
[I feel like shit] &#8211;> &#8220;Oh, it&#8217;s been a challenge, but I am managing.&#8221; (Healthy people love words like &#8220;challenge&#8221; and &#8220;manage.&#8221; The more you use them, the more it puts them at ease by creating the illusion that a chronic illness is something that can potentially be &#8220;overcome&#8221; or at the very least &#8220;managed&#8221; in the way that yuppies &#8220;manage&#8221; their yoga schedules.)</p>
<p>2. &#8220;Well, you don&#8217;t look sick.&#8221;<br />
[Well, I feel sick] &#8211;> &#8220;Thanks.&#8221; </p>
<p>The translation of statements about illness into euphemisms or terms of negation (as illustrated above) is done for the benefit of the well, who must be shielded from the reality of illness (Goffman qtd. Frank 31), but to the detriment of the ill, who are socially prohibited from ever articulating the reality of their experiences in any meaningful way. At least a sick-to-well dictionary would lay bare, in black and white print, the stark disparity between what wants to be said and what is allowed to be said in the gap between ill and healthy. </p>
<p><B>Works Cited</B></p>
<p>Frank, Arthur W. <I>The Wounded Storyteller: Body, Illness, and Ethics.</I> Chicago and London: The University of Chicago Press, 1995. </p>
<p>Goffman, Erving. <I>Stigma: Notes on the Management of Spoiled Identity.</I> Englewood Cliffs, NJ:  Prentice Hall, 1963. </p>
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		<title>Neither antiseptic nor sterile nor particularly uplifting.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/172/neither-antiseptic-nor-sterile-nor-particularly-uplifting/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/172/neither-antiseptic-nor-sterile-nor-particularly-uplifting/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 21 Sep 2008 00:52:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[thoughts on ms / chronic illness]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[books]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[fataldisease[tm]]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[gimpiness]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[limping]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[ms]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[multiple sclerosis]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[numbness]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=172</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[

Today I don&#8217;t feel so hot. Not sick-sick, but not well, either. I feel like I&#8217;m on the brink of getting a cold, which is, of course, exacerbating some of my existing neurological issues. On the way to the supermarket my roommate suddenly said: &#8220;Hey&#8230;you can&#8217;t feel your right foot right now, can you?&#8221; 
I [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><br />
<center><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/treatments.gif"><img src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/treatments.gif" alt="" title="treatments" width="188" height="288" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-175" /></a></center></p>
<p>Today I don&#8217;t feel so hot. Not sick-sick, but not well, either. I feel like I&#8217;m on the brink of getting a cold, which is, of course, exacerbating some of my existing neurological issues. On the way to the supermarket my roommate suddenly said: &#8220;Hey&#8230;you can&#8217;t feel your right foot right now, can you?&#8221; </p>
<p>I was, quite frankly, shocked. I know that <I>I know</I> when something is &#8220;off,&#8221; but, up until now, I&#8217;ve never had another person notice&#8212;much less before I did. </p>
<p>I checked in mentally: <I>can I feel my right foot?</I></p>
<p>&#8220;Actually,&#8221; I told her, &#8220;no. The sole of that foot is partially numb. How the hell did you know?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;You&#8217;re walking differently,&#8221; she told me. &#8220;It&#8217;s subtle, but it&#8217;s there.&#8221; </p>
<p>The feeling came back less than 10 minutes later. It comes, it goes. It&#8217;s given, it&#8217;s taken away, it&#8217;s given back again until, eventually, it won&#8217;t ever be given back. </p>
<p>I am only beginning to realize to what extent &#8220;sick&#8221; has become my new &#8220;normal.&#8221; I believe that, to most&#8212;if not all&#8212;outside observers, I probably <I>appear</I> to have some &#8220;healthy&#8221; days and some &#8220;ill&#8221; or &#8220;under the weather&#8221; days. But the reality is that I <I>never</I> have any &#8220;healthy&#8221; days in the sense that I never feel 100% healthy, and haven&#8217;t since the very first day I woke up sick with MS. </p>
<p>Instead, I&#8217;ve somehow (perversely) adjusted to the experience of feeling constantly unwell. &#8220;Normal&#8221; means I can&#8217;t feel the soles of my feet for several hours out of each day. It means I need to lean on something solid to support myself sometimes, because my legs do not feel like they will hold. It means ataxia, fatigue, weakness, electrical-shock sensations, a short-term memory that comes and goes as it pleases. Outside everything looks fine. And inside nothing feels fine&#8230;but you can&#8217;t tell. </p>
<p><B>Here is a list of some of the books I am currently (re-)reading:</B></p>
<p>1. <B><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Treatments-Language-Politics-Culture-Illness/dp/0816646988/ref=pd_bbs_2?ie=UTF8&#038;s=books&#038;qid=1221958050&#038;sr=1-2"><I>Treatments: Language, Politics, and the Culture of Illness,</I></a></B> by Lisa Diedrich.<br />
2. <B><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Wounded-Storyteller-Body-Illness-Ethics/dp/0226259935/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&#038;s=books&#038;qid=1221958118&#038;sr=1-2"><I>The Wounded Storyteller: Body, Illness, and Ethics,</I></a></B> by Arthur W. Frank.<br />
3. <B><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Communicating-Health-Illness-Richard-Gwyn/dp/0761964754/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&#038;s=books&#038;qid=1221958171&#038;sr=1-1"><I>Communicating Health and Illness,</I></a></B> by Richard Gwyn.<br />
4. <B><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Body-Pain-Making-Unmaking-World/dp/0195049969/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&#038;s=books&#038;qid=1221958215&#038;sr=1-1"><I>The Body in Pain,</I></a></B> by Elaine Scarry.<br />
5. <B><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Illness-Metaphor-AIDS-Its-Metaphors/dp/0312420137/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&#038;s=books&#038;qid=1221958260&#038;sr=1-1"><I>Illness as a Metaphor and AIDS and Its Metaphors,</I></a></B> by Susan Sontag.</B></p>
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		<title>Casey Anthony Has Cell Phone Records.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/165/casey-anthony-has-cell-phone-records/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/165/casey-anthony-has-cell-phone-records/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 20 Sep 2008 16:07:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[true crime / news]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[casey anthony]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[caylee anthony]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[nancy grace]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[news]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[true crime]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=165</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
And they show that absolutely none of the phone calls she claims to have made or received actually took place. If there was any shred of doubt, up until this point, about the existence (or lack thereof) of Zenaida Fernandez-Gonzalez, the alleged &#8220;babysitter&#8221; who &#8220;kidnapped&#8221; Caylee, these records should serve to dispel it. If for [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><br />
And they show that absolutely none of the phone calls she claims to have made or received actually took place. If there was any shred of doubt, up until this point, about the existence (or lack thereof) of Zenaida Fernandez-Gonzalez, the alleged &#8220;babysitter&#8221; who &#8220;kidnapped&#8221; Caylee, these records should serve to dispel it. If for some unexplained reason you are still frantically clinging to your belief in the fiction that Casey is &#8220;mother of the year,&#8221; I encourage you to watch this episode of Nancy Grace, and then go back to <B><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/146/casey-anthony-likes-to-lie-to-investigators/">the previous post on this case</a></B> and listen to the audio of Casey being interrogated by investigators. As <B><a href="http://scaredmonkeys.com/">Scared Monkeys</a></B> astutely points out, Casey can be heard telling police about a &#8220;phone call&#8221; that she claims to have &#8220;received&#8221; from Caylee almost a month after the toddler&#8217;s disappearance. But guess what? (Big surprise, right?) <I>That phone call never happened.</I></p>
<p><B>Video 1:</B><br />
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/A61QtYzi9Yc&#038;hl=en&#038;fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/A61QtYzi9Yc&#038;hl=en&#038;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></p>
<p><B>Video 2:</B><br />
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/8436fPsn_LI&#038;color1=0xb1b1b1&#038;color2=0xcfcfcf&#038;hl=en&#038;fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/8436fPsn_LI&#038;color1=0xb1b1b1&#038;color2=0xcfcfcf&#038;hl=en&#038;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></p>
<p><B>Video 3:</B><br />
<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/4b9rUgSfVF0&#038;hl=en&#038;fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4b9rUgSfVF0&#038;hl=en&#038;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></p>
<p><B>Casey Anthony&#8217;s Three Mug Shots (Yeah, that&#8217;s a <I>rosary</I> in the last one. Fake religious much, anyone?):</B><br />
<center><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/caseyanthonymugshot1.jpg"><img src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/caseyanthonymugshot1.jpg" alt="" title="caseyanthonymugshot1" width="200" height="266" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-166" /></a></p>
<p><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/caseyanthonymugshot2.jpg"><img src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/caseyanthonymugshot2.jpg" alt="" title="caseyanthonymugshot2" width="200" height="259" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-167" /></a></p>
<p><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/caseyanthonymugshot3.jpg"><img src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/caseyanthonymugshot3.jpg" alt="" title="caseyanthonymugshot3" width="200" height="266" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-168" /></a></center></p>
<p><B>Links to older posts on this topic are located <a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/146/casey-anthony-likes-to-lie-to-investigators/">here</a> and also <a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/70/leonard-padilla-is-an-idiot/">here.</a></B></p>
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		<title>It&#8217;s a party in GE&#8217;s 9.4 tesla-magnet equipped MRI machine, and I was invited.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/160/its-a-party-in-ges-94-tesla-magnet-equipped-mri-machine-and-i-was-invited/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/160/its-a-party-in-ges-94-tesla-magnet-equipped-mri-machine-and-i-was-invited/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 16 Sep 2008 20:22:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[medical adventures]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[brain atrophy]]></category>

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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=160</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[

Today I spent over an hour in the most powerful MRI machine on the market.
This was phase two of one of the three longitudinal studies in which I have elected to participate. This particular study looks at brain atrophy and cognitive performance. About a week ago I completed the cognitive portion, which involved over 2 [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><br />
<center><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/gr_mri.jpg"><img src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/gr_mri.jpg" alt="" title="gr_mri" width="425" height="319" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-161" /></a></center></p>
<p>Today I spent over an hour in <B><a href="http://www.gehealthcare.com/company/pressroom/releases/pr_release_9969.html">the most powerful MRI machine on the market.</a></B></p>
<p>This was phase two of one of the three longitudinal studies in which I have elected to participate. This particular study looks at brain atrophy and cognitive performance. About a week ago I completed the cognitive portion, which involved over 2 hours of exercises like being read lists of words </p>
<p>(&#8221;Cabinet<br />
Spinach<br />
Giraffe<br />
Lamp<br />
Motorcyle<br />
Squirrel<br />
Bookcase<br />
Cabbage<br />
Cow&#8221;)</p>
<p>and then being asked to repeat back as many as I could remember, plus all kinds of crazy puzzles and word and number games. </p>
<p>The GE MRI was hardcore. It got waaaaay hotter in the tube than with any other MRI I&#8217;ve ever experienced, to the point where the machine would just occasionally shut itself off (yes, it can sense when it is overheating), wait a few minutes, and then resume its mechanical scanning. The tech and one of the young residents who was there were both extremely nice, funny, helpful, and communicative, so that made the process a lot easier&#8211;especially in comparison to my regular annual MRI from a few weeks ago, during which a severe, harried Russian tech jammed an IV full of gadolinium into my right arm with no warning whatsoever, while I had still headphones on and music streaming into both ears and was strapped in place for a brain scan, meaning that I could neither turn my head and see what was going on nor hear what she was doing. SURPRISE INJECTION! </p>
<p>NOT FUN. </p>
<p>All she had to do was turn the music off and I would have at least been able to hear her, but she opted not to do so. It is a truly surreal experience to be lying on one&#8217;s back, prone, like a lab rat, unable to see or hear anything around you, while an utterly indifferent medical professional jams a needle into a vein and then walks away afterwards. In that moment, I remember feeling like a non-person, like a thing.</p>
<p>The only complaint I have from this time around is that&#8212;<I>damn</I> the GE is <I>loud.</I> Even with earplugs in, it hurt my ears, and now I have a headache. But I&#8217;m getting paid $50 for the cognitive test I did, plus $50 for this MRI today, which is good. I also agreed to go back in a week or so for <I>another</I> MRI called the &#8220;iron study,&#8221; since it apparently looks for iron in the brain; the researchers are trying to see if there is any correlation between excess iron in the CNS and the development of MS. That scan will last another hour and also pays $50. </p>
<p>The only disadvantage is that I&#8217;ll have to leave my nostril hoop out all week now. And you kids know how naked I feel with just a stud in my nose. Naked. Naked. </p>
<p>Pics from this scan forthcoming&#8230;it&#8217;s rather exhausting to go through them all, pick the right ones, and then crop and Photoshop everything, so bear with me&#8230;it might be a few days.</p>
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		<title>&#8220;Sarah Palin&#8221; and &#8220;Hillary Clinton&#8221; Address the Nation - SNL Skit, HILARIOUS.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/156/sarah-palin-and-hillary-clinton-address-the-nation-snl-skit-hilarious/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/156/sarah-palin-and-hillary-clinton-address-the-nation-snl-skit-hilarious/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 14 Sep 2008 16:49:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[a cool thing i found]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[true crime / news]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[hillary clinton]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[politics]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[sarah palin]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[videos]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=156</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
&#8211;
Tina Fey&#8217;s interpretation of Sarah Palin is flawless, and the skit itself is utterly brilliant, managing to pack into slightly over 5 minutes more layers of (truly astute) political and social analysis than most Ph.D.s can manage to stuff into 200+ pages of a doctoral dissertation. I applaud SNL for this piece, and for getting [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" data="http://widgets.nbc.com/o/4727a250e66f9723/48ccb49177c900fa/4727a2501a2a0f59/6b10025f" id="W4727a250e66f972348ccb49177c900fa" height="283" width="384"><param value="http://widgets.nbc.com/o/4727a250e66f9723/48ccb49177c900fa/4727a2501a2a0f59/6b10025f" name="movie" /><param value="transparent" name="wmode" /><param value="all" name="allowNetworking" /><param value="always" name="allowScriptAccess" /></object></p>
<p>&#8211;<br />
Tina Fey&#8217;s interpretation of Sarah Palin is <I>flawless,</I> and the skit itself is utterly brilliant, managing to pack into slightly over 5 minutes more layers of (truly astute) political and social analysis than most Ph.D.s can manage to stuff into 200+ pages of a doctoral dissertation. I applaud SNL for this piece, and for getting some important points (about sexism, in particular) across using such fantastic humor. </p>
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		<title>In praise of injections.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/153/in-praise-of-injections/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/153/in-praise-of-injections/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 13 Sep 2008 19:10:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[thoughts on ms / chronic illness]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[chinese hamsters]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[fataldisease [tm]]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[injections]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[medication]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[rebif]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=153</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Recently I&#8217;ve heard some buzz about injectable meds for MS (such as Rebif, Avonex, Betaseron, and Copaxone) being turned into pills in the future, so that people can just swallow them rather than having to inject. 
Personally, I would not want such a pill.
When I first started doing my injections (and yes, I have always [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><center><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/injection_abdomen.jpg"><img src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/injection_abdomen.jpg" alt="" title="injection_abdomen" width="340" height="255" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-154" /></a></center></p>
<p>Recently I&#8217;ve heard some buzz about injectable meds for MS (such as Rebif, Avonex, Betaseron, and Copaxone) being turned into pills in the future, so that people can just swallow them rather than having to inject. </p>
<p>Personally, I would not want such a pill.</p>
<p>When I first started doing my injections (and yes, I have <I>always</I> done them myself, even the ones in my buttocks and the backs of my arms&#8212;I am no shrinking violet, thanks) it was a bizarre experience. Out-of-body, or &#8220;second-level observer&#8221; almost. I think that I had to disassociate to a certain extent in order to be able to perform such an invasive procedure on myself. Puncturing. Breaking the skin. Introducing into the body, under the skin, something from outside. I would watch with clinical detachment as the needle slid in, smooth as a knife through butter. And I remember  slipping outside of myself as I would slowly depress the plunger of the syringe, standing back: <I>how strange,</I> I would think, <I>not to be here.</I> (This still happens occasionally.) For me, it&#8217;s not the initial insertion of the needle that causes pain (usually), but rather the injection of the medication itself. It aches going in. </p>
<p>Often I look down at the syringe after the plunger has been fully depressed, after the liquid has entered my flesh, but while the needle still remains inside of my body. I feel like an obscene porcupine, with this bizarre plastic cylinder projecting vertically from my thigh or abdomen. </p>
<p>And yet there is something comforting in the ritual of injection. Cleanse, sterilize. Choose a site. Pinch, insert, inject. Remove. Dispose of the needle in the plastic sharps collector. This is medicine in a way that a pill could never be. </p>
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		<title>Casey Anthony Likes to Lie to Investigators.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/146/casey-anthony-likes-to-lie-to-investigators/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/146/casey-anthony-likes-to-lie-to-investigators/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 12 Sep 2008 18:25:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[true crime / news]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[casey anthony]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[caylee anthony]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[news]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[true crime]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=146</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Some time ago, I made an extensive post about the Casey / Caylee Anthony case down in Florida, including links to photos, video, and downloadable .PDF documents released by investigators. As I just learned via MissingAbducted, (which, by the way, is the best online resource for up-to-date information on the case), the Orlando police have [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><center><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/caseyanthonypukeysm.jpg"><img src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/caseyanthonypukeysm.jpg" alt="" title="caseyanthonypukeysm" width="303" height="325" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-149" /></a></center></p>
<p>Some time ago, I made <B><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/70/leonard-padilla-is-an-idiot/">an extensive post</a></B> about the Casey / Caylee Anthony case down in Florida, including links to photos, video, and downloadable .PDF documents released by investigators. As I just learned via <B><a href="http://www.missingabducted.com">MissingAbducted,</a></B> (which, by the way, is <I>the best</I> online resource for up-to-date information on the case), the Orlando police have now released the actual audio of the interviews with Casey. (We&#8217;ve had access to this information before, via transcripts included in documents, but now we actually have the opportunity to hear Casey interacting with investigators, as the folks at MissingAbducted have duly noted.) </p>
<p>I present you with links to the audio files, in all of their Technicolor, MyFoxOrlando-Dot-Com splendor:</p>
<p><B><a href="http://www.myfoxorlando.com/myfox/MyFox/pages/sidebar_video.jsp?contentId=7419040&#038;version=1&#038;locale=EN-US">Audio Part 1.</a><br />
<a href="http://www.myfoxorlando.com/myfox/MyFox/pages/sidebar_video.jsp?contentId=7419115&#038;version=1&#038;locale=EN-US">Audio Part 2.</a><br />
<a href="http://www.myfoxorlando.com/myfox/MyFox/pages/sidebar_video.jsp?contentId=7419134&#038;version=1&#038;locale=EN-US">Audio Part 3.</a><br />
<a href="http://www.myfoxorlando.com/myfox/MyFox/pages/sidebar_video.jsp?contentId=7419181&#038;version=1&#038;locale=EN-US">Audio Part 4.</a></B></p>
<p>Ah, Casey, your pathological lies are so slick, and yet so transparent. Where is Caylee&#8217;s corpse?</p>
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		<title>&#8220;I masturbated to Sarah Palin&#8221; - Quite possibly the funniest political spoof ad of all time. [NSFW]</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/140/i-masturbated-to-sarah-palin-quite-possibly-the-funniest-spoof-political-ad-of-all-time/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/140/i-masturbated-to-sarah-palin-quite-possibly-the-funniest-spoof-political-ad-of-all-time/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 12 Sep 2008 06:11:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[a cool thing i found]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[my life is so whimsical]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[true crime / news]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[2008 election]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[politics]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[sarah palin]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=140</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Created by and starring Jason Zumwalt.
]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/C0kGc6UEGVc&#038;hl=en&#038;fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/C0kGc6UEGVc&#038;hl=en&#038;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></p>
<p><font face="Georgia">Created by and starring <B><a href="http://www.youtube.com/user/Iamzumwalt">Jason Zumwalt.</a></B></p>
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		<title>Something I feel needs to be made clear, under the circumstances.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/138/something-i-feel-needs-to-be-made-clear-under-the-circumstances/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/138/something-i-feel-needs-to-be-made-clear-under-the-circumstances/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 09 Sep 2008 23:29:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[thoughts on ms / chronic illness]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[chronic illness]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[fataldisease[tm]]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[friends and family]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[no apologies necessary]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=138</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Although I actually don&#8217;t owe any explanations to anyone, I thought I&#8217;d go ahead and post this, since it&#8217;s on my mind. Many of you may wonder why, on this blog, there is so little personal information about me. Sure, you know a few things&#8212;like my gender, approximate age, and the fact that I live [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><br />
Although I actually don&#8217;t owe any explanations to anyone, I thought I&#8217;d go ahead and post this, since it&#8217;s on my mind. Many of you may wonder why, on this blog, there is so little personal information about me. Sure, you know a few things&#8212;like my gender, approximate age, and the fact that I live in or near Boston. But you don&#8217;t know what I do for a living, the names of the people I interact with on a daily (or at least weekly basis), the name of my workplace, or even my real name. </p>
<p>The reason for this is quite simple: privacy. Because I express controversial viewpoints here on occasion, and because my sense of humor is frequently raunchy, sarcastic, outlandish, etc. (think: the post on David Duchovny), this is not the website I want to come up as the first Google hit when employers or potential employers search for my real name. Likewise, because (like many people) I have a&#8230;&#8221;complex&#8221; (perfect euphemism) family, I&#8217;d prefer to keep myself somewhat off the radar here. In a perfect world, I would not have to hide anything or censor certain information about myself from this website / blog. But the reality of the situation is that, in order to remain free enough to post about (and thereby <I>deal with</I>) my illness <I>in my own way</I>, I have to maintain a certain degree of privacy and secrecy. This is actually why I keep two blogs&#8212;one relatively inaccessible and whose URL I will never reference or link to here, and then this one, public. </p>
<p>100% of the people who have access to my &#8220;other,&#8221; inaccessible blog also have access to this blog. </p>
<p>On the other hand, there are a number of people who regularly visit Chemoisnotapony.com but who may never get access to the &#8220;other&#8221; blog. What do I do over there? I post things I can&#8217;t freely say here: details about my job, my work, IRL encounters, and such. Because the other blog remains inaccessible to the general public, I feel comfortable posting these details there, knowing that certain &#8220;special&#8221; family members and/or co-workers and/or current or potential future employers cannot gain access to that information. </p>
<p>Recently I was accused of &#8220;pretending&#8221; on this blog&#8212;of somehow presenting to you a &#8220;fake&#8221; version of myself, presumably to get &#8220;attention.&#8221; Uh-huh. The reality is that I am an extremely complex, multifaceted person, with many sides to my personality. I am allowed to experience them all. I am allowed to say some things here and other things there. Those of you who know me well have always understood. </p>
<p>This is my space&#8212;-my blog, my website. I can put here what I want, when I want. Those who don&#8217;t like it, or me, have the option of not returning to the site. In fact, I&#8217;d prefer they didn&#8217;t. But I will absolutely never apologize for the content here. I have a right to my own process, my own feelings, and my own way of expressing what it is like for me to have and attempt to deal with this disease. </p>
<p>Something I am interested in&#8212;a question for my fellow bloggers with MS or with other forms of chronic illness: do you ever find that other people criticize you for the way(s) in which you personally choose to confront, deal with, process, and articulate the experience of your illness? If so, do you get this mostly from your family, friends, co-workers, or some other group entirely? Finally: when you are on the receiving end of such criticism, how do you constructively deal with or avoid it? Thanks in advance for your replies. </p>
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		<title>Hilarious keyword searches that got people here this month.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/136/hilarious-keyword-searches-that-got-people-here-this-month/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/136/hilarious-keyword-searches-that-got-people-here-this-month/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 06 Sep 2008 22:05:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[my life is so whimsical]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=136</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
&#8220;homeless men piss&#8221;
I have to wonder if the individual found what they were looking for. I&#8217;ll keep this post updated as more amusing searches show up.  
]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><br />
&#8220;homeless men piss&#8221;</p>
<p>I have to wonder if the individual found what they were looking for. I&#8217;ll keep this post updated as more amusing searches show up. <img src='http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_wink.gif' alt=';)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
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		<title>&#8220;Holy fucking shit&#8212;these people have labs named after them!&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/131/holy-fucking-shit-these-people-have-labs-named-after-them/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/131/holy-fucking-shit-these-people-have-labs-named-after-them/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 06 Sep 2008 01:34:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[medical adventures]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Add new tag]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[brain atrophy]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[brigham and women's]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[campath]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[climb]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[doctors]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[dr. khoury]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[fataldisease[tm]]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[hicy]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[longitudinal studies]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[ms]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[multiple sclerosis]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[research]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[slifka]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[tovaxin]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[treatments]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=131</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[As some of you happen to know and others of you don&#8217;t, I have another blog, a top-s33krit one (ZOMG!) where I sometimes write other things. If you&#8217;re one of the people who doesn&#8217;t already know about the &#8220;other blog&#8221; to which I am referring, that means &#8220;Don&#8217;t ask because even though I love you [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia">As some of you happen to know and others of you don&#8217;t, I have another blog, a top-s33krit one (ZOMG!) where I sometimes write other things. If you&#8217;re one of the people who doesn&#8217;t already know about the &#8220;other blog&#8221; to which I am referring, that means &#8220;Don&#8217;t ask because even though I love you and everything you are not invited to that party kthnx.&#8221; If you are, in contrast, one of the people who already knows about and reads the aforementioned &#8220;other blog,&#8221; then please do me a favor and don&#8217;t ever link to it or make reference to it on here. </p>
<p>Anyway, the entire point of this preface about blogs is that <I>some</I> of the text in this post could be old news to those of you who have access to the &#8220;other blog&#8221;&#8212;assuming you happen to have been paying attention when I posted it there&#8212;whereas all of the entry will be new to those of you who only read me here. </p>
<p>So on August 14th, I posted the following to my &#8220;other blog.&#8221; [Note: Minor edits, mostly for the sake of privacy, have been made to the reposted version below]:</p>
<p>&#8212;&#8211;</p>
<p>&#8220;Today I had an appointment with Dr. M., a 2nd-year resident at the Brigham and Women&#8217;s MS Center in Brookline.  This came about because my regular neurologist flipped out when I asked her about <B><a href="http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/hmn/W08/feature1.cfm">The Johns Hopkins HiCy protocol.</a></B> (Her entire reaction, in case you don&#8217;t recall, consisted of: &#8220;BUT YOU COULD GET AN INFECTION!!!1!1!!! I am referring you to someone else. Maybe they can recommend &#8216;appropriate&#8217; research studies if that&#8217;s what you&#8217;re interested in.&#8221;)</p>
<p>This is the same neurologist to whom I gave a copy of the article on HiCy twice, and who twice, to the best of my knowledge, refused to read it. </p>
<p>Anyway, her shafting me off on Brigham and Women&#8217;s actually turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Dr. M. met with me for, I shit you not, a total of <I>two hours.</I> She did neurological tests on me that I had never even heard of before, let alone undergone. More sensitive stuff. I do, as I suspected, have some permanent neurological damage, and probably at least one lesion on my spinal cord that my original neurologist failed to detect. </p>
<p>I got to ask about <B><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tovaxin">Tovaxin</a></B> and also HicY, which Dr. M., being a resident, didn&#8217;t know much about.</p>
<p>So she called in <B><a href="http://khourylab.bwh.harvard.edu/samia.html">Dr. Khoury.</a></B> Holy. shit. The woman has <I>a lab named after her.</I> (I didn&#8217;t realize this until just now, when I did a Google search on her.)</p>
<p>She&#8217;s all up on the current research, and she spent a solid 20-30 minutes with Dr. M. and I, candidly discussing what she felt to be the most promising MS treatments, &#8220;assuming [I] wanted to take an aggressive approach.&#8221; She spoke extremely favorably about HiCy and the JH team, and said that my biggest risk was that the treatment could render me infertile, and also that I may not respond to it, or if I do the recovery may only be temporary. Other than that, she strongly recommended that I look into it further. This has cemented my decision to meet with Dr.s Kerr and Brodsky in Baltimore within the next year. </p>
<p>Toxavin she was more skeptical of, saying that it was a neat idea in theory but that, in practice, it probably would not be effective.</p>
<p>And she also recommended <B><a href="http://www.mult-sclerosis.org/Campath1H.html">Campath.</a></B></p>
<p>After Dr. Khoury left, Dr. M. and I continued speaking. She mentioned that, because I seemed to be so interested in research, I might like to know about a studying they are currently doing at Brigham and Women&#8217;s. It&#8217;s called the CLIMB (&#8221;Comprehensive Longitudinal Investigation of Multiple Sclerosis at Brigham and Women&#8217;s Hospital&#8221;) study, with <B><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Curing-MS-Mysteries-Multiple-Sclerosis/dp/0609609009">Dr. Howard L. Weiner</a></B> as Principal Investigator. More information about the purpose of this study can be found <B><a href="http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0850/is_3_25/ai_n19311809">here.</a></B> </p>
<p>Because I dig this kind of shit, it took me about 2 seconds to agree to be in the study. They took like 8 vials of my blood (which they will use to analyze both my DNA and certain immunological markers) and had me do a cognitive test and a series of 4 questionnaires. The questionnaires were varied and dealt with things specifically physically related to the illness (i.e. - Does fatigue interfere with my daily activities? If so, how much?) and also emotional issues. Out of the six possible response choices&#8212;&#8221;Always&#8221;; &#8220;Very often&#8221;; &#8220;Often&#8221;; &#8220;Sometimes&#8221;; &#8220;Rarely&#8221;, or &#8220;Never&#8221;&#8212;I answered &#8220;NEVER&#8221; to statements like: &#8220;I feel loved&#8221;; &#8220;I have someone who will hug me if I need it&#8221;; &#8220;I have someone with whom I can discuss my problems and fears&#8221;; &#8220;I have someone to help me around the house&#8221;; and &#8220;I have someone with whom I can participate in activities I enjoy.&#8221; The person who reviewed my test answers remarked that I showed a &#8220;high depression score.&#8221; </p>
<p>[...]</p>
<p>Oh&#8230;[so] CLIMB lasts 10 years. So these people will be following me, taking my blood, and giving me questionnaires and tests every 6 months until I am almost 40. Wow. </p>
<p>In the end, impressed by the entire visit (which lasted, dead seriously, <I>three hours</I> total) and by the team of physicians, I switched my primary neurological care to Dr. M. and will now (as part of the CLIMB study) be getting all my MRIs done at Brigham and Women&#8217;s. I will, however, keep my regular neuro on as backup, since she may be easier to reach if I ever have an emergency, need steroids on a weekend, etc.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8212;-</p>
<p>Fast-forward a few weeks. The other day while at sKooL, I got a voice mail from a male research fellow in Neurology, asking me if I wanted to be part of yet <I>another</I> study. Apparently this one looks at <B><a href="http://neurology.jwatch.org/cgi/content/full/2002/510/1">brain atrophy and MS</a></B> over the course of 3 years. It involves annual (or bi-annual? speaking of brain atrophy, I can&#8217;t recall exactly) MRIs in a stronger-than-usual MRI machine, plus periodic cognitive tests. </p>
<p>Again I will have to go through that rigmarole with having the piercer remove my nose ring and then replace it post-scan. Ah, well. </p>
<p>I have my first round of cognitive tests on Monday, then get my MRI (another brutal, 2 to 2.5 hour one involving brain with and without contrast, c-spine, and t-spine) within less than two weeks. I am interested to see exactly what the cognitive tests will involve. I was not given too much information about the study, but my impression is that the researchers are trying to see if they can find a correlation (or perhaps a lack thereof) between the amount of brain atrophy observed in MS patients at a given time (i.e. - based on MRI) and their actual cognitive performance. In other words, how much (or how little) of a negative impact does the process of MS-induced brain atrophy actually have on cognitive ability?</p>
<p>The following articles provide more information about brain atrophy and MS:</p>
<p>1. <B><a href="http://neurology.jwatch.org/cgi/content/full/2001/1121/1">&#8216;Neurocognitive Deficits Correlate with Brain Atrophy in MS.&#8217;</a></B><br />
2. <B><a href="http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/552913">&#8216;Brain Volume May Predict Rate of Brain Atrophy in MS.&#8217;</a></B></p>
<p>One basic fact that is important to understand is that MS, even while outwardly appearing &#8220;quiet&#8221;&#8212;even while not manifesting itself through the formation of new lesions or enhancing lesions visible on MRI&#8212;is doing <I>slow and continual damage to the central nervous system of affected individuals, including their brains.</I> &#8220;Brain atrophy&#8221; means exactly what it sounds like it means: <I>our brains are shrinking.</I> We are losing not only white matter, which is where most of the lesions form, but also the vitally important gray matter&#8212;the portions of the brain responsible for more sophisticated and complex mental operations. Translation: losing it is bad. </p>
<p>I will keep everyone posted about the study and my experience with it. I am now officially taking part in three longitudinal MS studies: one that analyzes quality of life and lasts 10 years (SLIFKA); one that analyzes genetics and MRIs in order to&#8230;I have no idea&#8230;and lasts for 10 years (CLIMB); and now this one, on brain atrophy and cognitive performance, that lasts for 3 years. </p>
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		<title>As promised&#8230;MRI images from 08/29/2008.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/107/as-promisedmri-images-from-08292008/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/107/as-promisedmri-images-from-08292008/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 02 Sep 2008 22:19:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[medical adventures]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[august 2008]]></category>

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		<category><![CDATA[mri]]></category>

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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=107</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Click on the thumbnails to view a larger version of each image. Please note that these are only 18 images that I personally selected from close to 1,000 that were taken of my brain (with and without contrast), cervical (upper) spine, and thoracic (mid) spine. The round white spots that you may notice on many [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_1.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-108" title="mri_aug08_1" src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_1-150x150.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" /></a><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_2.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-109" title="mri_aug08_2" src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_2-150x150.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" /></a><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_3.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-110" title="mri_aug08_3" src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_3-150x150.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" /></a><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_4.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-111" title="mri_aug08_4" src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_4-150x150.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" /></a><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_5.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-112" title="mri_aug08_5" src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_5-150x150.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" /></a><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_6.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-113" title="mri_aug08_6" src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_6-150x150.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" /></a><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_7.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-114" title="mri_aug08_7" src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_7-150x150.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" /></a><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_8.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-115" title="mri_aug08_8" src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_8-150x150.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" /></a><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_9.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-116" title="mri_aug08_9" src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_9-150x150.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" /></a><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_10.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-117" title="mri_aug08_10" src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_10-150x150.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" /></a><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_11.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-118" title="mri_aug08_11" src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_11-150x150.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" /></a><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_12.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-119" title="mri_aug08_12" src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_12-150x150.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" /></a><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_13.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-120" title="mri_aug08_13" src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_13-150x150.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" /></a><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_14.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-121" title="mri_aug08_14" src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_14-150x150.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" /></a><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_15.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-122" title="mri_aug08_15" src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_15-150x150.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" /></a><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_16.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-123" title="mri_aug08_16" src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_16-150x150.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" /></a><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_17.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-124" title="mri_aug08_17" src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_17-150x150.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" /></a><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_18.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-thumbnail wp-image-125" title="mri_aug08_18" src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/mri_aug08_18-150x150.jpg" alt="" width="150" height="150" /></a></p>
<p>Click on the thumbnails to view a larger version of each image. Please note that these are only 18 images that I personally selected from close to 1,000 that were taken of my brain (with and without contrast), cervical (upper) spine, and thoracic (mid) spine. The round white spots that you may notice on many of the images are lesions&#8212;areas of scar tissue where <B><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myelin">myelin</a></B>, the protective coating surrounding neurons, has been stripped away. That is how Multiple Sclerosis&#8212;which means &#8220;many scars&#8221;&#8212;got its name.</p>
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		<title>&#8220;The Eloquent Rage of a Party Girl Cut Down&#8221; - Reprint from the Telegraph (UK)</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/103/the-eloquent-rage-of-a-party-girl-cut-down-reprint-from-the-telegraph-uk/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/103/the-eloquent-rage-of-a-party-girl-cut-down-reprint-from-the-telegraph-uk/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 01 Sep 2008 04:36:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[true crime / news]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[eloquent rage]]></category>

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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=103</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
I liked this article and thus decided to reproduce it here, on my blog. -Xenu
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Multiple sclerosis: the eloquent rage of a party girl cut down
Last Updated: 12:01am BST 01/09/2008
Elizabeth Grice meets a woman who conveys the full horror of MS through poetry
There&#8217;s an itch on Collette Waller&#8217;s face that she badly wants to scratch. She [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br />
I liked this article and thus decided to reproduce it here, on my blog. -Xenu</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Georgia;">&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;&#8212;</span></p>
<p><strong>Multiple sclerosis: the eloquent rage of a party girl cut down</strong></p>
<p>Last Updated: 12:01am BST 01/09/2008</p>
<p><em>Elizabeth Grice meets a woman who conveys the full horror of MS through poetry</em></p>
<p>There&#8217;s an itch on Collette Waller&#8217;s face that she badly wants to scratch. She raises a pale, uncertain hand, wafting it about until it finds the right spot. Once, twice, it misses. She persists. Any of us sitting with her would help, but that&#8217;s not what she wants. She won&#8217;t even ask. Her power of movement is getting more limited by the day, but she&#8217;ll be damned if she&#8217;ll surrender the last vestiges of independence.</p>
<p>Not so long ago, she could still drink tea from a mug by herself - if she concentrated very hard. She wrote a poem about it: the ludicrous effort of co-ordinating brain and hands when your nerves have gone, the precision placing of the handle, the monkey lips pursed to reach the rim of the mug without spilling, the fury of knowing that &#8220;a poxy child&#8217;s beaker&#8221; with a lid would make things easier.</p>
<p>Collette is 36 and has a particularly aggressive form of multiple sclerosis. She was a tireless party girl, a brilliant county netball player, a traveller, someone who knitted her family together. Now she is sitting in a wheelchair while a carer brushes her eyelids mauve and applies mascara. On the table beside her is the thing she refused for so long: a mug of tea with a straw that someone has to lift every time she wants to drink. There is also her book of poems - angry, fast and full of strong language, shouting truths about disability that most people would rather not hear.</p>
<p>Collette had always been a real talker, and she &#8220;talked&#8221; her poems out of sheer frustration while she still could. Terrible, poignant stuff about what it is like to be woken, washed and &#8220;pulled about&#8221; by a complete stranger; to lose your means of expression; to be unable to turn off a bad daytime television show; to be in a hospice with old men (&#8221;no disrespect&#8221;) who are talking about their war service; to watch girls of your own age pushing buggies. &#8220;I think you&#8217;re f&#8212;&#8212; lucky!&#8221; she explodes in print. &#8220;And I&#8217;ve never felt like that before. But I&#8217;m getting resentful. And I don&#8217;t like that.&#8221;</p>
<p>Her fingernails are painted pink and her hair is glossy. You wouldn&#8217;t guess from her sweet, submissive smile that she&#8217;s churning away inside. Legs useless, eyesight going, speech slurred, she knows all too well how she appears to normal people and, to use the language of the poems, it pisses her off. &#8220;I still want to be able to express myself,&#8221; she says in &#8220;The Rant&#8221;. &#8220;I hate being such a sad bastard. I sit at the front door and wave. At anyone that goes by. Some dizzy old bird that waves at everyone.&#8221;</p>
<p>It is going to be a strange interview. In the hour and a half we are together, Collette speaks five short sentences. Her sixth contribution is a single word - &#8220;vegetable&#8221; - to describe her condition, when she suspects that her partner, Paul Giannini, is about to use a softer term. But she loves company and somehow we communicate. There is a sense of her old personality as she follows the conversation around her, eyes bright. &#8220;I&#8217;m proud of it,&#8221; she says of the book. &#8220;It&#8217;s the way I feel.&#8221;</p>
<p>Paul, a plasterer, is her interpreter and principal carer. He limits his work to a narrow radius from home so he can get back if she needs him. Collette has 24-hour care now. He says it would be easier for them both if only she would accept that she is severely disabled. &#8220;She is very stubborn. She thinks she is still the Collette Waller she was at 24. She is the strongest person I have ever known. The mental strength, the jolliness you get out of her, even now, is amazing. You can tell when she is happy from her eyes.&#8221;</p>
<p>She interrupts. &#8220;I cry a lot, too,&#8221; she says, perfectly intelligibly. She cries for no apparent reason, because that&#8217;s what MS does to you. She cries at physical indignities. But she cries mainly because she doesn&#8217;t want to be a burden - &#8220;a lump&#8221; - and because she is still, inside, the person she always was, only losing her links with the world she loves. There&#8217;s no outlet for her competitive streak or her delight in giving. Her face is getting numb. She noticed, as she watched the Beijing Olympics, that the colours of the nations&#8217; flags were all indistinguishable.</p>
<p>&#8220;She is scared of getting worse,&#8221; says Paul. &#8220;The thing she dreads most is ending up in a home. Then she would lose everything because I wouldn&#8217;t be able to live with her.&#8221;</p>
<p>The couple have known each other since they were teenagers. They lived together for three years before Collette, who worked in the IT department at The Daily Telegraph, was diagnosed with MS in 1996. Playing netball, she noticed she&#8217;d lost the ability to control the ball. Then she couldn&#8217;t put her earrings in because of pins and needles in her fingers. They had two more good holidays - on safari in Kenya and swimming in the Maldives - but the disease advanced rapidly, no matter what stabilising drugs were tried. Cuba in 2000 was a holiday too far. &#8220;I had to carry her up the steps from the beach,&#8221; says Paul.</p>
<p>He proposed to her on the spur of the moment at a cousin&#8217;s party in Denmark Hill. She teased him about this - at least he might have chosen Kenya or the Maldives. She doesn&#8217;t wear her engagement ring because if it slips off her finger there is no warning sensation that she is losing it. When I ask if they will get married, it&#8217;s Collette who answers: &#8220;I don&#8217;t want to ruin it. I am happy as I am.&#8221; She would have liked children, but Paul thinks the frustration of not being a hands-on mother would have upset her. &#8220;Of course, if she fell pregnant now I would say yes to the baby, but she would never get the benefit of children.&#8221;<br />
Collette Waller</p>
<p>Inner strength: Collette&#8217;s remarkable poetry is filled poignant emotion</p>
<p>The day will come when Collette has to be fed nutrients through a peg in her stomach, but for the time being Paul cooks food that is easy for her to swallow. &#8220;Tonight I&#8217;m doing meatballs. I will make them smaller and softer for her. Swallowing is getting difficult. She can&#8217;t chew lettuce. She loves toast, but it makes her cough.&#8221;</p>
<p>It was while having respite care at the Greenwich &amp; Bexley Cottage Hospice in London that Collette met Chris Rawlence, artist-in-residence of Rosetta Life, an organisation that helps people with life-threatening illnesses to express themselves through the art form of their choice. She was crying when he dropped by because her catheter had leaked while she waited for Paul to take her home and she had wanted to look her best. Rawlence held her hand and calmed her. Maybe we should write a poem about crying, he suggested. So began a remarkable collection of poetry: as Collette talked, Rawlence wrote everything down on his laptop, nudged it into shape, then returned it for her approval.</p>
<p>&#8220;Often when talking with Collette,&#8221; he says, &#8220;I&#8217;ve been struck by a turn of phrase, or an insight into her situation, that on the face of things is comically mundane yet conveys the essence of what she endures with disarming originality. Her voice shines through, enabling us to experience her isolation, depression, anger and exhaustion with a smile.&#8221;</p>
<p>As the months and years passed, a body of work accumulated that begged to be published. &#8220;I&#8217;m admitting the truth but others aren&#8217;t,&#8221; she says in one poem. &#8220;I can&#8217;t get out of this chair but I want to.&#8221; Far from making miserable reading, the little anthology, Party Girl, is direct, cussed, revealing and witty.</p>
<p><strong>Original source article, including photos of the woman interviewed, can be found <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/main.jhtml?xml=/health/2008/09/01/hms101.xml">here.</a></strong></p>
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		<title>Everything is [not] going to be ok. [Ever again.]</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/99/everything-is-not-going-to-be-ok-ever-again/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/99/everything-is-not-going-to-be-ok-ever-again/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 31 Aug 2008 03:10:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[thoughts on ms / chronic illness]]></category>

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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=99</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
There is a feeling that goes along with chronic illness&#8211;a feeling that no one, including most chronically ill people, will ever tell you about. 
It&#8217;s the feeling of I am going to lose my fucking mind. The one of I cannot fathom how I am going to continue like this for another second, let alone [...]]]></description>
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There is a feeling that goes along with chronic illness&#8211;a feeling that no one, including most chronically ill people, will ever tell you about. </p>
<p>It&#8217;s the feeling of <I>I am going to lose my fucking mind.</I> The one of <I>I cannot fathom how I am going to continue like this for another second, let alone for the rest of my life</I>. </p>
<p>I&#8217;m no <B><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo">Randy Pausch.</a></B> And although I admire him, I often suspect that his final, spectacular, inspiring show of bravery was just that&#8211;a show. A performance. Professor Pausch did not disappoint. Knowing he had very little time left to shine, he shone as brightly as possible, and much of the YouTube-connected world, in turn, tuned in to bask in the glow. </p>
<p>One of the things that no one ever tells you about being sick is that it&#8217;s the healthy people&#8211;not the sick ones&#8211;who desperately need to maintain the illusion that illness is &#8220;manageable,&#8221; that &#8220;all that matters is a positive attitude,&#8221; that people with diseases like cancer, HIV / AIDS, MS, ALS, etc. are &#8220;living <I>with</I>&#8221; their respective diseases, rather than dying <I>from</I> them. </p>
<p>Over the course of the past year, I have found myself forced into a painful learning of that lesson. I have seen the faces of friends, superiors, and family members crumple like wilted roses and realized in that moment that <I>I</I> have to be the &#8220;strong&#8221; one, that these people need me to hold them up, to sustain them. What a paradox that the sick, on top of being sick, must also provide strength to the healthy. That the dying have been implicitly assigned the task of assuaging the fears of the living about the act of dying. These rules are unspoken. You learn them as you go along. </p>
<p>I am not the strong one. </p>
<p>Most days I want to fall to my knees and scream until I have no voice left. Or I want to burn the entire world to the ground. The emotions with which I struggle are far too big for me; much of the time, I feel like I cannot physically contain them within my own body. It is all too much to bear. </p>
<p>And yet if you saw me in person you would never know this. I would read the soft flower of your face and know that my unspoken job was to soothe your fears, to explain to you that <I>everything is going to be ok.</I> And those are the words I would speak to you: the gentle lies, the lullabies. </p>
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		<title>MY NAME IS LESION.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/93/my-name-is-lesion/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/93/my-name-is-lesion/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 30 Aug 2008 00:42:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[medical adventures]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[cerebrum]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[chinese hamsters]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[fataldisease[tm]]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[mri]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[ms]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[multiple sclerosis]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=93</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
I got only four hours of sleep last night and have been running around since 7AM, so this is just a quick update for now, until I have time to post pics, etc.
1. The MRI took several hours. The radiologist was a rather severe and unpleasant Russian woman.
2. As my new neurologist suspected, I do [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><br />
I got only four hours of sleep last night and have been running around since 7AM, so this is just a quick update for now, until I have time to post pics, etc.</p>
<p>1. The MRI took several hours. The radiologist was a rather severe and unpleasant Russian woman.<br />
2. As my new neurologist suspected, I do indeed have 1 lesion on my <B><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:Gray_111_-_Vertebral_column-coloured.png">thoracic spine</a></B>&#8212;however, this is not new, but rather most likely the product of last summer&#8217;s massive flare-up. My previous neuros missed this lesion; apparently it&#8217;s easy to do, since spinal ones can be tricky to spot on MRI.<br />
3. Including the spinal lesion, I have a total of 8 lesions in my central nervous system&#8212;7 of them in my brain.<br />
4. No new lesions have developed since my MRI last July, just over a year ago.<br />
5. The contrast (<B><a href="http://www.mult-sclerosis.org/Gadolinium.html">gadolinium</a></B>) scans <B><a href="http://ms.about.com/od/glossary/g/Gd_lesion.htm">show no enhancing lesions, indicating no &#8220;active&#8221; inflammation</a></B> in my central nervous system at this time. </p>
<p>4 and 5 are good. They mean that the <B><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rebif">chinese hamsters</a></B> are doing what they are supposed to be doing, and with some degree of effectiveness.  </p>
<p>Images of my brain, etc. forthcoming&#8230;</p>
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		<title>David Duchovny Probably Has Sex With Picnic Tables.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/84/david-duchovny-probably-has-sex-with-picnic-tables/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/84/david-duchovny-probably-has-sex-with-picnic-tables/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 29 Aug 2008 03:43:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[true crime / news]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[celebrities]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[david duchovny]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[news]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[picnic table sex]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=84</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
David Duchovny is in rehab for sex addiction, and he wants you to know about it.
Seriously, if you had a sex addiction, would you announce it to the entire world via your attorney?
Honestly. 
Even a crack addiction, a la Amy Winehouse, would probably be less humiliating.
I wonder what tipped David off that he had this [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><b><br />
<a href="http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b26532_david_duchovny_rehabbing_sex_addiction.html">David Duchovny is in rehab for sex addiction, and he wants you to know about it.</a></b></p>
<p>Seriously, if you had a <i>sex addiction</i>, would you announce it to the entire world via your attorney?</p>
<p>Honestly. </p>
<p>Even a crack addiction, a la Amy Winehouse, would probably be less humiliating.</p>
<p>I wonder what tipped David off that he had this special little problem. Was he like <b><a href="http://www.firstcoastnews.com/news/strange/news-article.aspx?storyid=105778">that guy on the news who got arrested for fucking picnic tables and making picnic-table porn?</a></b> Was he humping inanimate objects?</p>
<p>WTF???</p>
<p><center><div id="attachment_91" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 213px"><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/picnic_tables_duchovny.jpg"><img src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/picnic_tables_duchovny.jpg" alt="Maybe he raped a teacup?" title="picnic_tables_duchovny" width="203" height="290" class="size-medium wp-image-91" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Maybe he raped a teacup?</p></div></center></p>
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		<item>
		<title>This post is not about mongooses (mongeese?).</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/80/this-post-is-not-about-mongooses-mongeese/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/80/this-post-is-not-about-mongooses-mongeese/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 Aug 2008 22:39:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[medical adventures]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[my life is so whimsical]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[mris]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[ms]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[multiple sclerosis]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[xanax]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=80</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Tomorrow is my annual MRI. They are doing brain, c-spine, and t-spine, with and without contrast. What does this mean in real-world terms? Let me tell you: it means I will be spending several hours in the tube. And because I am just so fucking whimsical that I have panic attacks during MRIs, they have [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><br />
Tomorrow is my annual MRI. They are doing brain, c-spine, and t-spine, with and without contrast. What does this mean in real-world terms? Let me tell you: it means I will be spending several hours in the tube. And because I am just so fucking whimsical that I have panic attacks during MRIs, they have to drug me for the procedure. </p>
<p>I may have the results via my Neurologist as early as tomorrow afternoon; if not, I&#8217;ll have to wait until next Tuesday to find out what&#8217;s going on in terms of disease activity, etc.  </p>
<p>Today I went to my piercer, Owen, and he removed my seamless nostril hoop. Tomorrow, after the MRI, I will go back to him so that he can put it back in. </p>
<p>Pics forthcoming. I usually get them on CD right after they finish with the scans. I know how excited you are to ogle my cerebrum. </p>
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		<title>Leonard Padilla is an idiot; Casey Anthony is a Sociopath; and Caylee Anthony is dead.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/70/leonard-padilla-is-an-idiot/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/70/leonard-padilla-is-an-idiot/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 27 Aug 2008 20:59:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[true crime / news]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[casey anthony]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[caylee anthony]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[leonard padilla]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[true crime]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=70</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
This just broke less than an hour ago: it has been confirmed that the forensics on Casey Anthony&#8217;s car came back and that there was, indeed, a decomposing human body in the car. Nope Cindy&#8212;your dead granddaughter is not &#8220;rotten pizza&#8221; after all. (See also this news blurb.)
Ok. Up until now, I&#8217;ve kept my own [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"></p>
<blockquote><p><B><font color=red>This just broke less than an hour ago: it has been confirmed that the forensics on Casey Anthony&#8217;s car came back and that <a href="http://www.local6.com/news/17314942/detail.html">there was, indeed, a decomposing human body in the car.</a> Nope Cindy&#8212;your dead granddaughter is not &#8220;rotten pizza&#8221; after all. (See also <a href="http://www.wftv.com/news/17315205/detail.html">this news blurb.</a>)</B></font></B></p></blockquote>
<p>Ok. Up until now, I&#8217;ve kept my own blog shut regarding the Casey / Caylee Anthony circus that&#8217;s been unfolding for the past month or so down in Florida. Sure, I&#8217;ve been fairly active on sites like <B><a href="http://www.missingabducted.com">MissingAbducted</a></B>, <B><a href="http://www.scaredmonkeys.com">ScaredMonkeys</a></B>, and <B><a href="http://www.dreamindemon.com">The Dreamin&#8217; Demon,</a></B> but I&#8217;ve refrained from posting anything of my own regarding the case on this blog. </p>
<p>That time has come to an end, because now I just cannot shut my mouth anymore. Why? Because today, Leonard Padilla, the <S>media whore</S> bounty hunter who bailed mother of the year candidate Casey Anthony out of jail, stated to a reporter that, <B><a href="http://www.local6.com/news/17313064/detail.html">in light of what he now knows, bailing her out was &#8216;a mistake.&#8217;</a></B></p>
<p>A mistake? Kind of like either killing your own child or covering up her accidental death would be &#8220;a mistake&#8221;?</p>
<p>What  really blows my mind is Padilla&#8217;s insistence that he &#8220;wasn&#8217;t aware&#8221; of the information about Casey Anthony&#8212;namely that her abandoned car was found smelling like &#8220;dead body&#8221; (in the words of Anthony&#8217;s own mother, Cindy); that Casey borrowed a neighbor&#8217;s shovel shortly after the time that Caylee was last seen alive by anyone; and that Casey has systematically lied to friends, family, and investigators for over a month about her job, her activities, her whereabouts, and even the existence of an alleged babysitter (&#8221;Zenaida Fernandez-Gonzalez&#8221;&#8212;who authorities have all but proven <I>does not exist, except in Casey&#8217;s imagination</I>) on whom she has been blaming Caylee&#8217;s &#8220;mysterious&#8221; disappearance. All of this information, as Florida&#8217;s Local6 notes in its article, has been freely available to the public and widely circulating on the internet <I>for weeks.</I> </p>
<p>How is it possible that Padilla &#8220;wasn&#8217;t aware&#8221; of it? Was he as deeply in denial as the entire Anthony family appears to be? Cindy has had her fleeting moments of honesty&#8212;such as the &#8220;dead body&#8221; comment on the 911 call and her warning to one of Casey&#8217;s friends that Casey was a &#8220;sociopath,&#8221; but she seems to have gotten over that rather quickly and is now insisting that the &#8220;dead body&#8221; smell in the car came from &#8220;rotten pizza&#8221; and that she &#8220;believes&#8221; her daughter Casey. Can someone please hand me a puke bag? Thanks. (Note that the &#8220;rotten pizza&#8221; theory has been repeatedly debunked by one of the Florida news stations. See, for example: <B><a href="http://www.wftv.com/news/17292628/detail.html">this report.</a></B>)</p>
<p>All of the evidence released thus far (including video / audio of Casey&#8217;s jail conversations, 911 calls, over 400 pages of case documents, screen shots and printouts from Casey and Cindy Anthony&#8217;s MySpace pages, witness statements, CCTV footage, etc. strongly suggests either one of two scenarios: a.) Caylee Anthony died accidentally due to neglect by Casey (for example, by drowning in the pool or by being locked in a hot car for too long), and Casey panicked and subsequently attempted to cover up the death and bury or burn the body, or b.) Casey Anthony murdered her daughter Caylee, probably in a fit of rage (i.e. - not premeditated) and then buried, burned, or dumped the body. </p>
<p>What is clear to everyone (except Padilla, of course) is that Casey&#8217;s sole concern now is protecting her own ass from prosecution. Meanwhile, the corpse of her toddler daughter continues to rot in some undisclosed location. Lovely. </p>
<p><B>Links to fun repositories of media and information, including photos of Casey partying at the Fusian lounge during some of the dates on which she claimed she was &#8220;looking&#8221; for Caylee:</B></p>
<p>1. The 400+-page police files (3 separate .PDFs):<br />
<B><a href='http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/caseyanthony1.pdf'>caseyanthony1</a><br />
<a href='http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/caseyanthony2.pdf'>caseyanthony2</a><br />
<a href='http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/caseyanthony3.pdf'>caseyanthony3</a></B></p>
<p>2. Casey Anthony&#8217;s <B><a href="http://s160.photobucket.com/albums/t168/icons157/pictures/?start=40">Photobucket account,</a></B> featuring abundant photos of her partying and/or puking. Adorable. <B><font color=red>Note (added 09/12/2008): Casey or another member of the Anthony family has since either deleted this account or made it private. Unfortunately for them, the pictures have already been copied, downloaded, and plastered all over the Internet, and remain readily available in thousands of forums.</font></B></p>
<p>2a. Casey Anthony <B><a href="http://glosslip.com/2008/07/31/new-pics-surface-of-caylee-anthonys-mother-partying-while-toddler-was-missing/">parties at Club Fusian</a></B> during the time she was allegedly &#8220;looking&#8221; for her &#8220;missing&#8221; daughter Caylee. The photos were date and timestamped and the DJ and photographers at the club confirmed seeing Casey there and taking the photos in mid-June, respectively. (Courtesy of <B><a href="http://www.glosslip.com">GlossLip.</a></B>)</p>
<p>3. The <B><a href="http://www.websleuths.com/forums/showthread.php?p=2473779">Websleuths Forum</a></B> where they have gathered and condensed links to all available known media and dox in and awesomely well-organized fashion for easy perusing / viewing / listening. </p>
<p>4. The Orlando Sentinel&#8217;s <B><a href="http://www.orlandosentinel.com/orl-caylee-anthony-case,0,2298363.htmlpage">special section,</a></B> also a great resource for media and dox related to this case. </p>
<p>5.<br />
<B><a href="http://www.wftv.com/video/16989413/">911 Call #1.</a></B><br />
<B><a href="http://www.wftv.com/video/16980843/">911 Call #2.</a></B><br />
<B><a href="http://www.wftv.com/video/16980866/">911 Call #3: &#8216;There&#8217;s something wrong. I found my daughter&#8217;s car today and it smells like there&#8217;s been a dead body in the damn car.&#8217;</a></B></p>
<p>6. <B><a href="http://www.wftv.com/video/16991942/">Casey Anthony&#8217;s first jail phone call</a></B> with her Mom, brother, and friend. This is before she really knew she was being taped, so you get the &#8220;real Casey&#8221; here. Priceless. - Choice quotations: &#8220;I saw your nice little cameo on TV, Mom&#8221;; &#8220;Oh my God&#8230;calling you guys&#8230;a waste&#8230;HUGE WASTE&#8221;; &#8220;They just want Caylee back. That&#8217;s all they&#8217;re worried about right now is getting Caylee back&#8230;&#8221; </p>
<p>7. <B><font color=red>Breaking news (08/27 @ 17:16H): tests confirm that <a href="http://www.local6.com/news/17314942/detail.html">there was a dead body in the trunk of Casey Anthony&#8217;s car.</a></p>
<p>8. UPDATE: Thursday, August 28, 2008: As <a href="http://www.dreamindemon.com/2008/08/28/rest-in-peace-caylee-marie-anthony/">The Dreamin&#8217; Demon reports,</a> there is virtually no doubt remaining that the dead body in the trunk of Casey Anthony&#8217;s car was in fact Caylee&#8217;s.</B></font></p>
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		<title>Ataxia, Chinese Hamsters, and Sesame Street Band-Aids.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/63/ataxia-chinese-hamsters-and-sesame-street-band-aids/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/63/ataxia-chinese-hamsters-and-sesame-street-band-aids/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 26 Aug 2008 00:32:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[thoughts on ms / chronic illness]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[ataxia]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[band-aids]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[chinese hamsters]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[injections]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[medication]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[ms]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[multiple sclerosis]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=63</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Today I woke up with major ataxia in my arms, hands, legs, and feet. This has happened around a half a dozen times over the course of the past year. Usually it lasts around 24 hours and then disappears. I think the longest it&#8217;s ever lasted was close to 48 hours. 
I am clumsy, uncoordinated, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><br />
Today I woke up with major <B><a href="http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/ataxia/DS00910">ataxia</a></B> in my arms, hands, legs, and feet. This has happened around a half a dozen times over the course of the past year. Usually it lasts around 24 hours and then disappears. I think the longest it&#8217;s ever lasted was close to 48 hours. </p>
<p>I am clumsy, uncoordinated, dropping things, tripping, walking oddly. </p>
<p>It was also an injection day and, for some reason, the <B><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rebif">chinese hamsters</a></B> hurt like hell going in. (See the photo below for an explanation of why I have always referred to this medication as &#8220;chinese hamsters.&#8221;)</p>
<p>I remember one time that Lisa, over at <B><a href="http://brassandivory.blogspot.com/">Brass and Ivory,</a></B> commented that she doesn&#8217;t use a Band-Aid on her injection sites because it is unnecessary. I use a Band-Aid, but not for physical reasons. I am aware that the blood clots within seconds of withdrawing the needle, and that the wound is tiny anyway. </p>
<p>When I place a Band-Aid over my injection site, it is for purely psychological reasons. I buy boxes of colorful children&#8217;s Band-Aids&#8212;Dora the Explorer, Sesame Street, Hello Kitty, etc. Affixing one to the site is soothing; it says, <I>This is over now.</I> It labels the wounded area. It communicates to other people: <I>Please be gentle here. This part hurts. I am vulnerable.</I> It covers up with cartoons and superheroes the memory of a puncture and the evidence of ongoing internal damage in the form of an incurable disease. The Band-Aids are an attempt to &#8220;make better,&#8221; to heal, what cannot be made better and cannot be healed.</p>
<p><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/chinesehamsters1.jpg"><img src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/chinesehamsters1.jpg" alt="" title="chinesehamsters" width="320" height="240" class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-65" /></a></p>
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		<item>
		<title>Ventriloquism</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/58/ventriloquism/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/58/ventriloquism/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 25 Aug 2008 04:43:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[thoughts on ms / chronic illness]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[herberto helder]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[poesia portuguesa]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=58</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
&#8220;[...]
E a morte passa de boca em boca
com a leve saliva,
com o terror que há sempre
no fundo informulado de uma vida
[...]&#8221;
-From Herberto Hélder, Poesia toda, &#8220;Poemacto II.&#8221;
&#8212;
&#8220;[...]
And death passes from mouth to mouth
with its light saliva,
with the terror that exists always
in the unformulated depth of a life
[...]&#8221;
&#8212;
I remember a time when there was a way [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><br />
&#8220;[...]<br />
E a morte passa de boca em boca<br />
com a leve saliva,<br />
com o terror que há sempre<br />
no fundo informulado de uma vida<br />
[...]&#8221;</p>
<p>-From Herberto Hélder, <I>Poesia toda,</I> &#8220;Poemacto II.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8212;</p>
<p>&#8220;[...]<br />
And death passes from mouth to mouth<br />
with its light saliva,<br />
with the terror that exists always<br />
in the unformulated depth of a life<br />
[...]&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8212;</p>
<p>I remember a time when there was a way to say everything. Before there was nothing left to say, and nothing could be articulated any longer. </p>
<p>I have given up on speaking.</p>
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		<title>&#8220;Scully have I loved&#8221; - from Salon.com - Worth the re-post&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/56/scully-have-i-loved-from-saloncom-worth-the-re-post/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/56/scully-have-i-loved-from-saloncom-worth-the-re-post/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 23 Aug 2008 18:52:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[a cool thing i found]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[other people's articles]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[special agent dana scully]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[the x-files]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=56</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Because it&#8217;s the weekend, which means more work for me (yes, my schedule is the opposite of yours, thank you), I&#8217;ve decided to re-post this article from Salon.com about Gillian Anderson, aka Special Agent Dana Scully. I agree with every word of it&#8212;except for the unnecessary fawning over Duchovny sprinkled into the piece. Not that [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><br />
Because it&#8217;s the weekend, which means more work for me (yes, my schedule is the opposite of yours, thank you), I&#8217;ve decided to re-post this article from Salon.com about Gillian Anderson, aka Special Agent Dana Scully. I agree with every word of it&#8212;except for the unnecessary fawning over Duchovny sprinkled into the piece. Not that Duchovny isn&#8217;t a great actor, or that his work (whether on <I>The X-Files</I> or elsewhere) isn&#8217;t worthy of praise; just that, to me, he&#8217;s kind of&#8230;blasé in comparison to Scully.</p>
<p>===================</p>
<p><B>Scully have I loved</B><br />
<I>Fox Mulder was brilliant and sexy in &#8220;The X-Files&#8221; &#8212; but it&#8217;s Dana Scully who has my heart.</I></p>
<p>By Rebecca Traister</p>
<p>Jul. 24, 2008 | &#8220;In this summer of Dark Knights and Hellboys and Iron Men, it&#8217;s refreshing to be reminded &#8212; as we will be this weekend, with the opening of &#8220;The-X-Files: I Want to Believe&#8221; &#8212; that not so long ago, there was a science fiction series with a woman at its core, a heroine whose major goals were more about disproving the existence of extraterrestrial life than marrying Big, a chick who spent more time chasing fluke worms down toilets than trying on shoes.</p>
<p>I was crazy about &#8220;The X-Files,&#8221; Fox&#8217;s pre-9/11 ode to trusting no one. I taped every episode. I watched many of them repeatedly. I borrowed friends&#8217; tapes and purchased some of my favorite episodes when they became available. I saw the confounding first &#8220;X-Files&#8221; feature, &#8220;Fight the Future,&#8221; in the theaters. Twice. I still think of 10:13 as a lucky number, on a clock or calendar, and I still occasionally address e-mails to friends who knew me at the time with &#8220;Mulder, it&#8217;s me.&#8221; Perhaps the biggest sign of my devotion was that I forced myself, balefully, to keep watching the show to the bitter end, after David Duchovny took off and pallid young Mulder and Scully imitators were hired to generate new heat.</p>
<p>No, I never wrote fanfic or had an online alter ego named after Scully&#8217;s dog, &#8220;Queequeg&#8221;; I didn&#8217;t name my cat Skinner, though let me tell you, it crossed my mind. Eight years out, I can&#8217;t imaginatively conjure up the face of the Well-Manicured Man, or tell you what the deal was with the alien black oil.</p>
<p>But I was never in it for the conspiracy, the Syndicate, Deep Throat, the Cigarette Smoking Man or the array of bat boys, robotic cockroaches, Satanic cheerleaders or Mexican goat suckers that waltzed menacingly across my screen every week.</p>
<p>I was there because I knew, eventually, my heroes would get it on. And because I was totally enraptured by special agent Dana Scully.</p>
<p>It probably wasn&#8217;t supposed to be that way. Duchovny&#8217;s Fox Mulder was, after all, the centerpiece of the narrative: the brilliant, wounded, lonely man, who spends his life trying to sort through the trauma of his sister&#8217;s disappearance and prove that he isn&#8217;t crazy for believing in aliens, ghosts and El Chupacabra (the Mexican goat sucker). And it didn&#8217;t hurt that Duchovny was basically a walking pheromone, all languid eyes and long-necked eroticism.</p>
<p>Sure, Mulder was hot, and made you want to heal and help him and go with him to the Andes in search of the yeti or whatever it was he planning to do with his three-day weekend.</p>
<p>But the one I would have gone to the ends of the earth for was Scully. Patient, long-suffering, geeky forensic pathologist Scully, so short and tucked and tailored. Given such a tough role &#8212; as the woman brought in by the FBI to be the minder and school marm, as Mulder correctly says in the first episode, to spy on him &#8212; Scully was supposed to be able take away his toys and crush his dreams of ghouls and goblins.</p>
<p>Who wants to be the skeptic, the killjoy, the buzzkill? Gillian Anderson, plucked from obscurity in her early 20s to play Scully, should have initially petitioned for a special Emmy category that rewards excellence in the field of lip biting, sideways casting of the eyes and exasperated bowing of the head.</p>
<p>But as the show matured, it was Scully &#8212; the cerebral head of the X-Files, torn between her Catholic faith, her scientific impulse to explain away the inexplicable and her affection for her partner &#8212; who was destined to become the (still cerebral) heart of the show.</p>
<p>The very fact that her character was such a hard sell made her repeated brushes with the supernatural all the more powerful. Mulder&#8217;s desire to believe was so expansive, his credulity so flexible, that it&#8217;s not as though he was ever going to have either shaken from him. But Scully&#8217;s surety was solid, stable, rigid; every time she saw something she thought she&#8217;d never see, we saw it crack, sparks fly from it. She was forced to question herself, grow, change. In short, she got the better arc, and her journeys were always, by dint of the setup, more intricate and moving.</p>
<p>There&#8217;s a beautiful scene at the end of an episode from Season 3, &#8220;Clyde Bruckman&#8217;s Final Repose,&#8221; about a man who can foresee when and how everyone will meet his or her end. In it, Scully, who of course initially doubts him, watches as one of Bruckman&#8217;s unlikelier predictions &#8212; that she will wind up in bed with him, holding his hand tenderly as tears stream down his face &#8212; comes true. Anderson&#8217;s pale young face opens wide with grief and realization: grief for the man she&#8217;d taken for a kook, realization that he had been for real, and also that the other prediction he&#8217;d made about her was that she would never die.</p>
<p>Scully, we are to believe, is immortal; the series hinted at it at various other points, especially in a stunning sixth-season episode in which she looks away from death as it approaches her. It&#8217;s a testament to the strength of the character that as the other unwieldy mythologies of &#8220;The X-Files&#8221; &#8212; aliens and government conspiracies and black oil! &#8212; inevitably crumbled under the weight of their own convoluted expectations, the mystery and mythos surrounding Scully grew steadily stronger.</p>
<p>Early episodes of the show look so dated now &#8212; check out their toaster-size phones and Scully&#8217;s ill-advised jewel-toned pantsuits &#8212; but &#8220;The X-Files&#8221; was innovative television when it debuted, dealing as it did with issues of science, faith and distrust in government that in a post-9/11 world would probably have landed Fox Mulder deep in Guantánamo.</p>
<p>Scully certainly did her time as a damsel in often soap-operatic distress: She was abducted, her eggs were harvested, her sister was killed; she had cancer, a chip was implanted in her neck, and she was dragged to a spaceship in Antarctica, where a gross-looking tube was stuffed down her throat and she was pumped full of an alien virus. But though her reproductive system was the depressing locus for much of her trauma, she wasn&#8217;t alone in her victimhood. Mulder had nearly as many indignities foisted on him. Abduction, check. Dead sister, check. Alien virus, check.</p>
<p>In fact, the show was exceptional in its willingness, if not to turn gender conventions on their head, then at least to level the playing field. The producers could have insisted on a more standard-issue duo, an alien-loving nerd and a bombshell lady scientist. Instead we got the slightly repressed (or at least sharply coifed and primly manicured) but socially capable leading lady and her porn aficionado partner, leering but ultimately unlucky with the ladies. &#8220;X-Files&#8221; creator Chris Carter complicated the roles of his wary protagonists further by making Scully the rational, resilient, mature one and her partner Mulder a gullible, sensitive, doe-eyed and slightly laughable foil.</p>
<p>The pairing, based mostly on the dynamic between actors Anderson and Duchovny, crackled, and the show had at its core a professional relationship that was not just sexually, but romantically, electric. Of course, back then, when we all walked a mile to school and programs started the season in September and finished them in May, slow-burn television relationships burned really slowly, especially in comparison with today&#8217;s short-attention-span theater, when an unrequited prime-time couple can maybe make it to sweeps before kicking off their panties.</p>
<p>Not only did the sparks between Mulder and Scully fly fast and far, but the drawing out of their relationship allowed their audience to fall for them too, despite the irritating imperfections of both character and plot.</p>
<p>Scully was a leading lady to fall for, a smart-girl icon who was (and would still be, alas) a rare television bird: professional, independent, unsentimental. She liked boys&#8217; things: Her favorite movie was &#8220;The Exorcist,&#8221; her favorite book the phallic classic &#8220;Moby-Dick&#8221;; her nickname from her father was Starbuck; she wrote her thesis on Einstein&#8217;s twin paradox. She was the opposite of squeamish. In possibly the best &#8220;X-Files&#8221; episode of all time, the vampire farce &#8220;Bad Blood,&#8221; there is an ur-Scully scene: She is doing an autopsy after a long day of chasing the undead through a small Texas town. Annoyed, she sighingly hoists the departed&#8217;s heart, lung and intestines onto the scale, reading their weights into a tape recorder. Then she opens up the victim&#8217;s stomach and starts poking around with her scalpel to determine his last meal. &#8220;Pizza, topped with pepperoni, green peppers, mushrooms.&#8221; Here she pauses, looks up briefly from the bloody innards. &#8220;Mushrooms. That sounds good.&#8221; She orders a pizza.</p>
<p>Today&#8217;s television is not without its Scullys &#8212; &#8220;Law &#038; Order&#8221; ladies who crack skulls and chase bad guys in Jimmy Choos. But they all feel like tall, skinny, limp knockoffs of the original. Dana Scully was not standard television beautiful, but a diminutive pre-Raphaelite, pale of skin and red of hair, who could give equal amounts of soul to lines like &#8220;Nothing happens in contradiction to nature, just in contradiction to what we know of it&#8221; and &#8220;Well, seeing as how it&#8217;s Friday, I was thinking I could get some work done on that monograph I&#8217;m writing for the penology review: &#8216;Diminished Acetylcholine Production in Recidivist Offenders.&#8217;&#8221; A woman who, when asked by her pestering partner to examine a cadaver&#8217;s head just one more time for a set of horns, can snap on her gloves and mutter &#8220;Whatever&#8221; like she really means it.</p>
<p>Of course most of the credit here goes to Scully&#8217;s portrayer, Anderson. I was always keenly aware of the discrepancy between the entertainment press&#8217;s reactions to Anderson and Duchovny. The latter, a Princeton grad who was an English Ph.D. candidate at Yale (his unfinished dissertation was to have been on morality, magic and technology and &#8220;Gravity&#8217;s Rainbow&#8221;), was always breathlessly congratulated for his special intellect and pedigree. He seemed to accept the media&#8217;s wide-eyed adoration with self-assuredness, feeding reporters lines about Marvell or Milton. Anderson, by contrast, was unapologetic about being the wifty one, a remorseless wild child whose giggly demeanor and pseudo new-wave spirituality always made her appear, in interviews and on talk shows, the polar opposite of her character.</p>
<p>But I always thought that for Anderson to so beautifully embody Scully &#8212; a character so distant from her own experience &#8212; meant that she was the special one. Intervening years have put a satisfying spin on their real-life personae. While Duchovny, who had such a bright future ahead of him that he (discerningly) left the show early, flopped around in middling movies until finally finding his natural home on the softcore narcissism-fest &#8220;Californication.&#8221; Anderson, meanwhile, has built a career on an immaculately edited collection of sophisticated material. The former punk rocker may still be wifty, but she is practically a poster child for highbrow period piece drama, and has turned in gorgeous performances as Lily Bart in &#8220;The House of Mirth,&#8221; as Lady Dedlock in &#8220;Bleak House&#8221; and as a doctor in the brutal Idi Amin biopic &#8220;The Last King of Scotland.&#8221; She even did a terrific sendup of herself in &#8220;Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story.&#8221;</p>
<p>This weekend, she&#8217;ll be bringing all those chops back to the role that made her, and that&#8217;s good news. In an entertainment world where women are disappearing from multiplexes, where men bulk up as superheroes while women don&#8217;t eat but sip pink drinks, we need to remember that there was once a very short heroine who hunted monsters and talked about Einstein, who kicked ass and questioned her faith, who went to work with a man she loved but didn&#8217;t rip his shirt off over lunch, who didn&#8217;t want to believe, but opened herself nonetheless to possibility. We need Scully back, even for a moment.&#8221;</p>
<p><B>Source article <a href="http://www.salon.com/ent/movies/feature/2008/07/24/scully/">here.</a></B></p>
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		<title>My Doctors are my heroes right now.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/38/my-doctors-are-my-heroes-right-now/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/38/my-doctors-are-my-heroes-right-now/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 22 Aug 2008 05:40:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[thoughts on ms / chronic illness]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[doctors]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[fataldisease[tm]]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[ms]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[multiple sclerosis]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=38</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
I&#8217;ve gotten in the habit of sending them &#8220;Thank you&#8221; cards. When you actually sit down and think about it, it seems bizarre to pick out a card with an image of a penguin on the front and write inside: &#8220;Dear Dr. So-and-So, Thank you for the wonderful job you did extracting my wisdom teeth&#8230;&#8221; [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><br />
I&#8217;ve gotten in the habit of sending them &#8220;Thank you&#8221; cards. When you actually sit down and think about it, it seems bizarre to pick out a card with an image of a penguin on the front and write inside: &#8220;Dear Dr. So-and-So, Thank you for the wonderful job you did extracting my wisdom teeth&#8230;&#8221; or &#8220;Dear Dr. Such-and-Such, Thank you for being willing to read the article about Experimental Treatment X and provide your thoughtful, informed opinion of it&#8230;&#8221; Etc. </p>
<p>But I can&#8217;t help myself. </p>
<p>Before I got sick, I don&#8217;t think I appreciated good Doctors nearly as much as I have come to do so within the past year. Having now encountered some outstanding physicians and specialists and other mediocre ones, I realize just how much I cherish the outstanding batch. In a world that is by and large indifferent, these Doctors provide a momentary sense that someone, somewhere cares about me. It matters to someone that I not be in too much pain, that I be able to smile. Even if that concern is merely professional and clinical, it&#8217;s better than nothing. I&#8217;ve had months where the only meaningful, face-to-face conversation I&#8217;ve had with another person happened to be with a Doctor, during the course of a check-up. </p>
<p>And this is why I find myself compelled to thank them&#8211;the good ones at least. </p>
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		<title>On the usefulness of memes in daily life.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/36/on-the-usefulness-of-memes-in-daily-life/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/36/on-the-usefulness-of-memes-in-daily-life/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 22 Aug 2008 00:36:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[my life is so whimsical]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[ed]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[ed memes]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[mudkipz]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=36</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
I&#8217;ve found that the best way of dealing with those obnoxious MassPirg kids is with a meme. If you live in or near a major urban area, then you know those kids. They are invariably college freshman (with the occasional high-school senior sprinkled in for variety) who aggressively accost passersby, clipboard in hand, to ask [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><br />
I&#8217;ve found that the best way of dealing with those obnoxious MassPirg kids is with a meme. If you live in or near a major urban area, then you know those kids. They are invariably college freshman (with the occasional high-school senior sprinkled in for variety) who aggressively accost passersby, clipboard in hand, to ask if you want to &#8220;help save the environment.&#8221; Sometimes it&#8217;s &#8220;Do you want to help starving children?&#8221; </p>
<p>I am all for both, really&#8211;just not while I am trying to make it through my daily commute. So I&#8217;ve developed a strategy for dealing with theadolescents [tm]: </p>
<p>&#8220;Excuse me, ma&#8217;am&#8230;are you interested in&#8230;&#8221; </p>
<p>[*Cutting him or her off*] &#8220;So I heard you like mudkipz.&#8221; </p>
<p>&#8220;Huh?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Mudkipz. Heard you like them. Is it true?&#8221; </p>
<p>&#8220;What?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Mudkipz.&#8221; </p>
<p>&#8220;Uhhh&#8230;.&#8221; </p>
<p>&#8220;K. Thanksbye.&#8221; </p>
<p>Works like a charm. </p>
<p>[<B><a href="http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/So_i_herd_u_liek_mudkip">See also this page.</a></B>]</p>
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		<title>Paris Hilton, Tommy Hilfiger, and MS.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/33/paris-hilton-tommy-hilfiger-and-ms/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/33/paris-hilton-tommy-hilfiger-and-ms/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 21 Aug 2008 15:21:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[thoughts on ms / chronic illness]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[celebrities]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[charities]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[fataldisease[tm]]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[ms]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[multiple sclerosis]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[paris hilton]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[tommy hilfiger]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=33</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
To be perfectly honest, I am not sure quite how I feel about this.
I am aware that one of Ms. Hilton&#8217;s grandmothers lived (and died) with MS, and I can only commend her for her recent efforts to break out of the mold of perpetual airhead party-girl and actually do something generous, caring, and meaningful. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><br />
To be perfectly honest, I am not sure quite how I feel about <B><a href="http://www.celebritybeautybuzz.com/index.php/2008/05/get-paris-hiltons-we-love-to-erase-ms-charity-tee/">this.</a></B></p>
<p>I am aware that one of Ms. Hilton&#8217;s grandmothers lived (and died) with MS, and I can only commend her for her recent efforts to break out of the mold of perpetual airhead party-girl and actually do something generous, caring, and meaningful. From what I understand, the heiress also recently made <B><a href="http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20209167,00.html?xid=rss-fullcontentcnn">an &#8216;extremely generous&#8217; donation</a></B> to an L.A. hospital. </p>
<p>And yet, something about this whole system of Tommy-Hilfiger-celebrity-endorsed-Lance-Armstrong-Livestrong brand of charity irks me. For one, I don&#8217;t understand why people need the incentive of fashion or commercial products (example: special red iPods for that Bono AIDS campaign) in order to contribute to the &#8220;cause&#8221; of their choice&#8212;whatever that may be. Why not just donate? Why spend instead? </p>
<p>But perhaps more importantly, I dislike the notion that people can simply give (or spend) some money and walk away operating under the false impression that they&#8217;ve &#8220;made a difference.&#8221; There are a lot of people living with chronic illness&#8211;not just with MS, but with HIV/AIDS, Lupus, etc. Many of them are forced to exist in isolation within their communities; they lack adequate care and assistance with real, concrete daily tasks such as doing the laundry, bathing, and cooking meals. Instead of spending $25 on a Tommy Hilfiger shirt that will make you feel really, really cool (almost like you and Paris Hilton have something in <I>common</I>, ZOMG!!11!), why not spend 24 hours with a chronically ill person? </p>
<p>I think that our society is structured in such a way as to promote isolation and permit people to avoid assuming the responsibility of reaching out and caring, doing something tangible, for other human beings. Instead of forming human connections, we deal in goods and currency. Paris can put on her traffic-cone orange t-shirt, strike a few poses, and then go back to her fabulous life of private jets, limos, and reality TV.</p>
<p>People with MS, however, are quite permanently stuck in the reality of an ill (and often poorly-functioning) body. We can&#8217;t take off the t-shirt and go focus on something else. I want a fluorescent orange shirt that says: &#8220;I want to get off this ride now, thanks&#8221; on the front and then: &#8220;MS: there is no &#8216;off this ride&#8217;&#8221; on the back. </p>
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		<title>Mirror mirror&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/28/mirror-mirror/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/28/mirror-mirror/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 21 Aug 2008 01:56:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[thoughts on ms / chronic illness]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[chronic illness]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[death]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[disease]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[fataldisease[tm]]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[ms]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=28</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
So today (after the toothpaste run, during which, yes, I ran into both one-dred flea-infested homeless woman and urine-soaked, perpetually pissing homeless man) I made a couple of phone calls to the leaders of two local IRL MS support groups. The first was run by a very helpful, lively-sounding woman who I learned was in [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><br />
So today (after the toothpaste run, during which, yes, I ran into <I>both</I> one-dred flea-infested homeless woman <I>and</I> urine-soaked, perpetually pissing homeless man) I made a couple of phone calls to the leaders of two local IRL MS support groups. The first was run by a very helpful, lively-sounding woman who I learned was in her 60s and has Secondary Progressive MS. She cautioned me that &#8220;Our group may not be appropriate for you, since we all have Secondary Progressive.&#8221; </p>
<p>&#8220;Ah&#8230;&#8221; I said, not knowing how else to reply.</p>
<p>&#8220;We like to say that we&#8217;re a more &#8216;progressive&#8217; group.&#8221; </p>
<p>Even though the joke was somewhat corny, I couldn&#8217;t help but laugh. Apparently the oldest member is over 80 and has had MS for 40 years. Providing I attend, I will be by far the youngest person there, and the only one with the Relapsing-Remitting subtype. To tell you the truth, I am a bit afraid to go. The group sounds lovely, but to walk into a room full of people with Secondary Progressive MS would imply a violent confrontation with my own possible future in terms of disease course. </p>
<p>How do you look in the mirror that close-up when your reflection is surrounded by canes, wheelchairs, spasms, paralysis? How do you look without instinctively turning away in fear? </p>
<p>Many people remark to me that they are &#8220;not afraid&#8221; of death, that they are &#8220;at peace&#8221; with it. None of the people who say this are chronically ill or have had a bona fide brush with death. If they have, it was something that would have been swift and accidental, such as being hit by a car. Chronic illness, slow death, is psychologically very different from sudden death. Slow death, such as that caused by MS, is a process that unfolds in time. It is a losing of oneself not instantaneously or globally, but rather piece by piece&#8212;-a series of small deaths preceding an eventual larger, systemic one.</p>
<p>Facing mortality is easier when you have only seconds in which to do so. But when that gaze is drawn out over weeks, months, years, decades, it becomes far more difficult to bear. </p>
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		<title>Party cake ice cream and homeless men who piss themselves on purpose.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/26/party-cake-ice-cream-and-homeless-men-who-piss-themselves-on-purpose/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/26/party-cake-ice-cream-and-homeless-men-who-piss-themselves-on-purpose/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 20 Aug 2008 20:35:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[my life is so whimsical]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[errands]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[fleas]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[piss]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=26</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Since I am still on a diet of liquids and semi-solids 2 weeks after my wisdom teeth extraction (and have lost 15 pounds in the process), I&#8217;ve decided that the only solution is to consume a couple of bowls of Edy&#8217;s Take the Cake ice cream each day. Hopefully it will at least keep me [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><br />
Since I am still on a diet of liquids and semi-solids 2 weeks after my wisdom teeth extraction (and have lost 15 pounds in the process), I&#8217;ve decided that the only solution is to consume a couple of bowls of <B><a href="http://edys.slowchurned.com/flavor.aspx?b=117&#038;f=2677">Edy&#8217;s Take the Cake</a></B> ice cream each day. Hopefully it will at least keep me from dropping any more weight. I figure in another week or so I should be eating normal food again.</p>
<p>Today&#8217;s mission involves a run up to the store to get more <B><a href="http://www.myoralcare.com/products/bases/index.asp">Arm and Hammer Peroxicare Toothpaste</a></B>. </p>
<p>I am fervently hoping that I won&#8217;t run into the one-dred flea-infested homeless woman who normally hangs out near the door to CVS, swaying methodically from side to side, her right hand wordlessly cupped in an expression of <I>Spare change?</I> I say &#8220;one-dred&#8221; because she basically has this mass of super-long hair that, for lack of washing, has fused into a single, massive dredlock hanging down the center of her back. You can legitimately get fleas from her if you stand too close. I can&#8217;t decide if I am more sketched out by her or by the homeless guy who just constantly pisses himself. He makes no attempt whatsoever to even reach a bathroom; I&#8217;ve actually seen him just pissing all over himself in the subway. Naturally, the man has a permanent stench of fetid urine that surrounds him for a 1 mile radius. </p>
<p>I&#8217;d prefer my homeless without an extra side of crazy, thanks.</p>
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		<title>MRIs make me feel special inside.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/24/mris-make-me-feel-special-inside/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/24/mris-make-me-feel-special-inside/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 20 Aug 2008 04:38:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[medical adventures]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[annoyances]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[brigham and women's]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[climb study]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[cool kids]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[dr. howard l. weiner]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[fataldisease [tm]]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[mris]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[ms]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[multiple sclerosis]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[piercings]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=24</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
MRIs were not designed for thecoolkids [tm]. I have a tiny, razor-thin hoop in my left nostril. It&#8217;s so insignificant that I&#8217;ve already undergone 3 separate MRIs with it in and had no problem whatsoever. Of course, the image of the hoop shows up on the resultant MRI images, much to the consternation of radiologists [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><br />
MRIs were not designed for thecoolkids [tm]. I have a tiny, razor-thin hoop in my left nostril. It&#8217;s so insignificant that I&#8217;ve already undergone 3 separate MRIs with it in and had no problem whatsoever. Of course, the image of the hoop shows up on the resultant MRI images, much to the consternation of radiologists and neurologists alike. (It is also visible on <B><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/zomgteef_doctored_noframe.jpg">my recent wisdom teeth x-ray.</a></B>)</p>
<p>Now that I am in Dr. Howard L. Weiner&#8217;s <B><a href="http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0850/is_3_25/ai_n19311809">CLIMB study,</a></B> however, I have to get all of my MRIs done <B><a href="http://cni.bwh.harvard.edu/contact.html">here</a></B> for the next 10 years. Apparently when you&#8217;ve agreed to be a study subject, your MRIs have to be significantly more pristine than when they are just&#8230;well&#8230;your run-of-the-mill annual MRIs. </p>
<p>I was told in no uncertain terms that my nose ring has to come out prior to my session in the tube at the end of this month. </p>
<p>&#8220;Ma&#8217;am, are you aware that I am actually going to have to make two separate appointments with my piercer now&#8212;one to have him manually remove the hoop prior to the MRI and then another to have him put it back after the MRI? I know it looks thin, but you can&#8217;t just bend it and pop it out. It&#8217;s much more challenging than it looks.&#8221; </p>
<p>&#8220;Well, it has to come out because we are doing imaging of your brain and it will interfere.&#8221; </p>
<p>&#8220;Fine,&#8221; I said, &#8220;but this is annoying.&#8221; </p>
<p>I feel naked without my nose ring. </p>
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		<title>Bug Porn: It&#8217;s more likely than you think.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/22/bug-porn-its-more-likely-than-you-think/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/22/bug-porn-its-more-likely-than-you-think/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 19 Aug 2008 23:47:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[a cool thing i found]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[green porno]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=22</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
If you haven&#8217;t already had the privilege of beholding Isabella Rossellini&#8217;s &#8220;green porno&#8221; in all of its absurd glory, then I highly recommend that you check it out. 
[Obviously this is NSFW.]
I find it difficult to determine whether or not these shorts were intended to be humorous, but they crack me up. Rossellini&#8217;s intensity and [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><br />
If you haven&#8217;t already had the privilege of beholding Isabella Rossellini&#8217;s &#8220;green porno&#8221; in all of its absurd glory, then I highly recommend that you <B><a href="http://www.sundancechannel.com/greenporno">check it out.</a></B> </p>
<p>[Obviously this is NSFW.]</p>
<p>I find it difficult to determine whether or not these shorts were intended to be humorous, but they crack me up. Rossellini&#8217;s intensity and commitment to her roles as various amorous insects is hilarious. </p>
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		<title>The Jamaican cab driver incident (based on a true story).</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/20/the-jamaican-cab-driver-incident-based-on-a-true-story/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/20/the-jamaican-cab-driver-incident-based-on-a-true-story/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 19 Aug 2008 21:33:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[my life is so whimsical]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[jamaican cab driver]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[magic dick]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=20</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
The Jamaican cab driver was telling me about his cock.
&#8220;I have magic dick, ok?&#8221; he started off.
&#8220;Right on,&#8221; I responded from the back seat, &#8220;Oh, can you make a left here? Thanks…&#8221;
&#8220;I have eight inches cock,&#8221; he continued, with obvious pride.
&#8220;Right on,&#8221; I repeated, not particularly caring.
&#8220;And when I fuck with the womens, I fuck [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span style="font-family: Georgia;"><br />
The Jamaican cab driver was telling me about his cock.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Georgia;">&#8220;I have magic dick, ok?&#8221; he started off.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Georgia;">&#8220;Right on,&#8221; I responded from the back seat, &#8220;Oh, can you make a left here? Thanks…&#8221;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Georgia;">&#8220;I have eight inches cock,&#8221; he continued, with obvious pride.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Georgia;">&#8220;Right on,&#8221; I repeated, not particularly caring.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Georgia;">&#8220;And when I fuck with the womens, I fuck 24/7, you understand what I am saying?&#8221;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Georgia;">&#8220;24/7. That’s quite impressive. Straight through these lights.&#8221;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Georgia;">&#8220;But &#8216;dese womens they be doing too much voodoo. I have to protect myself&#8212;myself and my cock&#8212;from the voodoo.&#8221;</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Georgia;">&#8220;Indeed,&#8221; I affirmed.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Georgia;">We stopped in front of my house, and he turned on the overhead lights. I reached into my right-hand pocket, pulling out a sweaty wad of bills and some change. As I went to hand it to him, he suddenly froze, staring intently into my eyes: &#8220;I know what happened to you,&#8221; he said. &#8220;You have the body of a woman but the soul of a man.&#8221; His fist closed around the money. I nodded, then slid out of the cab and headed upstairs to my apartment.<br />
</span></p>
<p><span style="font-family: Georgia;">[To be continued...]</span></p>
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		<title>It&#8217;s 1:09 in the morning and I&#8217;m eating instant mashed potatoes with ketchup.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/17/its-109-in-the-morning-and-im-eating-instant-mashed-potatoes-with-ketchup/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/17/its-109-in-the-morning-and-im-eating-instant-mashed-potatoes-with-ketchup/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 19 Aug 2008 05:27:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[my life is so whimsical]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[fictional bitter middle aged alcoholic lechers]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=17</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
I&#8217;ll probably get sued for writing this, but every time I look at the cover of the National MS Society&#8217;s quarterly magazine, Momentum, all I can think about is how a more appropriate title would be Stasis. The Fall issue is on the floor of my bedroom right now. The prospect of Stasis is something [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><font face="Georgia"><br />
I&#8217;ll probably get sued for writing this, but every time I look at the cover of the National MS Society&#8217;s quarterly magazine, <B><a href="http://www.nationalmssociety.org/multimedia-library/momentum-magazine/index.aspx"><I>Momentum</I></a></B>, all I can think about is how a more appropriate title would be <I>Stasis.</I> The Fall issue is on the floor of my bedroom right now. The prospect of <I>Stasis</I> is something I find absolutely hysterical.  </p>
<p>Speaking of which&#8230;</p>
<p>I was just visiting Perez Hilton dot com, where Monsieur Perez has posted about <B><a href="http://perezhilton.com/2008-08-18-meeting-miley">meeting Miley Cyrus and having referred to her as a &#8216;Disney slut.&#8217;</a></B></p>
<p>To some extent, I&#8217;ve always had the personality of a bitter, middle-aged alcoholic man, but with the onset of <B><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multiple_sclerosis">fataldisease [tm]</a></B> it has only gotten worse. Remind me to tell you sometime soon about the Jamaican cab driver. Most of my close friends know the story, but it&#8217;s worth telling fifty thousand times over. </p>
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		<title>Anticlimax extraordinaire, or: ZOMG TEEF!1!!!!!: The story of an unexpected wisdom teeth extraction.</title>
		<link>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/9/anticlimax-extraordinaire-or-zomg-teef1-the-story-of-an-unexpected-wisdom-teeth-extraction/</link>
		<comments>http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/9/anticlimax-extraordinaire-or-zomg-teef1-the-story-of-an-unexpected-wisdom-teeth-extraction/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 17 Aug 2008 02:10:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Xenu</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[medical adventures]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[wisdom teeth]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[zomg teef!11!!]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/?p=9</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I was supposed to have my appointments with Dr.s Kerr and Brodsky at Johns Hopkins on August 6th and 12th, respectively. Unfortunately, my teeth had another plan. For years I had been putting off the dreaded wisdom tooth extraction. You see, I hate teeth. I would rather undergo a lumbar puncture (no picnic when it&#8217;s [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I was supposed to have my appointments with <a href="http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/hmn/W08/feature1.cfm">Dr.s Kerr and Brodsky at Johns Hopkins</a> on August 6th and 12th, respectively. Unfortunately, my teeth had another plan. For years I had been putting off the dreaded wisdom tooth extraction. You see, I <em>hate </em>teeth. I would rather undergo a lumbar puncture (no picnic when it&#8217;s being performed by a resident who keeps aiming the needle in the wrong direction) every single day of my life than get one cavity filled. No shizzle.</p>
<p>So imagine my horror when the oral surgeon said: &#8220;Yep. Full-bony impacted. Two. The bottom ones. They have to come out. Now.&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Wait,&#8221; I said, &#8220;are you serious?&#8221;</p>
<p>He looked serious.</p>
<p>&#8220;Yes. How old are you?&#8221;</p>
<p>&#8220;Twenty-eight,&#8221; I replied.</p>
<p>&#8220;<em>What?!&#8221; </em></p>
<p>&#8220;Twenty-eight.&#8221;</p>
<p>He looked mildly appalled, sighed, shook his head: &#8220;I&#8217;d much rather have taken these out when you were eighteen&#8230;&#8221;</p>
<p>And so on the morning of August 6th, 2008&#8212;&#8211;ironically, just two hours after I was supposed to have been meeting with Dr. Kerr, I found myself sitting in a chair in MGH&#8217;s Wang Ambulatory Care Center. (The outside of the building has about 20 blue banners, sky-high, that all read: WANG. Like: WANG WANG WANG WANG&#8212;do they even realize the LULZINESS inherent in the name of this building???).</p>
<p>The surgeon&#8217;s assistant asked me if I wanted &#8220;Bubblegum or orange&#8221;-scented nitrous oxide, a question which, to me, seemed tantamount to a Nazi asking a gas chamber full of Jews if they wanted to die with cherry or grape-flavored poison gas.</p>
<p>&#8220;Uhhhh&#8230;.bubblegum?&#8221; I said, as though it made a difference.</p>
<p>At some point an IV was stuck into my arm and a large foam block jammed into the right side of my mouth, presumably to keep it open. I remember smelling bubblegum and wondering when I was going to pass out, and then&#8230;and then&#8230;.nothing.</p>
<p>I woke up in the same chair, and I recall being led into a recovery room. At some point, a circular band of ice packs was placed around my face. There was gauze jammed into both sides of my mouth, and my face was numb. (Evidently they use laughing gas, plus anesthesia, plus Novicaine.)</p>
<p>Ten days later, I am still on a liquid diet, and I have lost 10 pounds. But at least the teeth are gone.</p>
<div id="attachment_10" class="wp-caption alignnone" style="width: 460px"><a href="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/zomgteef_doctored_noframe.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-10" title="zomgteef_doctored_noframe" src="http://chemoisnotapony.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/zomgteef_doctored_noframe.jpg" alt="The teeth. Fortunately I only had two---the bottom ones." width="450" height="332" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">The teeth. Fortunately I only had two---the bottom ones.</p></div>
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